Mining

TWO MINERS ARE DRILLING INTO A ROCK FACE. THE DRILL BURSTS THROUGH, LEAVING A SMALL HOLE IN THE ROCKY WALL. THEY STOP DRILLING TO INSPECT IT

DAVE:
Looks like we hit an air pocket. Better have a look.

DAVE STICKS HIS HEAD IN THE HOLE.

CUT TO A STREET SCENE ON IT'S SIDE WHERE DAVE'S HEAD POKES OUT OF AN OPEN MANHOLE COVER IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME ROAD WORKS

DAVE:
What the...?

DAVE WHIPS HIS HEAD BACK IN AGAIN

DAVE:
Charlie, you've got to have a look at this...

CHARLIE STICKS HIS HEAD IN THE HOLE.

CUT TO DARK ROCKY CHAMBER WITH NOTHING IN IT. CHARLIE'S HEAD POPS UP AND LOOKS PERPLEXED. HE PULLS HIS HEAD BACK IN AGAIN

CHARLIE:
It's just an empty chamber mate, what's so exciting about that?

DAVE:
You sure?

DAVE POPS HIS HEAD BACK IN AGAIN.

CUT TO CHANGING ROOM CUBICLE ON IT'S SIDE. DAVE'S HEAD POPS OUT THROUGH AN ACCESS COVER IN THE FLOOR. A LADY IS CHANGING, SEES DAVE AND SCREAMS. DAVE GRINS AND PULLS HIS HEAD BACK IN AGAIN

DAVE:
That really is cool... you sure you didn't see anything weird?

CHARLIE:
Take my phone in with you and take a pic, then I'll see what you're on about mate.

CHARLIE HANDS HIS PHONE TO DAVE. DAVE FLICKS IT ON TO CAMERA MODE, GRINS AND WIGGLES HIS EYEBROWS AT CHARLIE AND SQUEEZES HIS HEAD AND ARM IN THE HOLE. HE SCREAMS AND STRUGGLES, BUT IS STUCK. CHARLIE PANICS AND TRIES TO HELP HIM OUT. DAVE MANAGES TO WRIGGLE OUT EVENTUALLY, AND SLOWLY TURNS AROUND. HIS HORRIFIED FACE IS COVERED IN POO. HE WHIMPERS

END

I was liking it right up to the poo bit, maybe you could think of another ending.

Thanks

The only other ending I can think of involves a tampon at the moment, so give me a bit of time on that one

Quote: andyroo @ August 12 2009, 6:57 PM BST

Thanks

The only other ending I can think of involves a tampon at the moment, so give me a bit of time on that one

View original

You've already done the women's shower scene though, maybe if at the end they looked at the camera phone and it was a video of a miner stuck in a hole and another miner trying to pull him out. Just a thought.

Quote: andyroo @ August 12 2009, 6:57 PM BST

The only other ending I can think of involves a tampon at the moment, so give me a bit of time on that one.

View original

I'll give you a month.

Thanks for the advice fellas. See below for my re-write:

-----------------

TWO MINERS ARE DRILLING INTO A ROCK FACE. THE DRILL BURSTS THROUGH, LEAVING A SMALL HOLE IN THE ROCKY WALL. THEY STOP DRILLING TO INSPECT IT

DAVE:
Looks like we hit an air pocket. Better have a look.

DAVE STICKS HIS HEAD IN THE HOLE.

CUT TO A CHANGING ROOM CUBICLE ON IT'S SIDE. DAVE'S HEAD POPS OUT THROUGH AN ACCESS COVER IN THE FLOOR. A LADY IS CHANGING, SEES DAVE AND SCREAMS. DAVE GRINS AND PULLS HIS HEAD BACK IN AGAIN

CHARLIE:
What is it?

DAVE GRINS AND STICKS HIS HEAD BACK IN AGAIN.

CUT TO A COMMUNAL SHOWER ROOM ON IT'S SIDE. DAVE'S HEAD POPS OUT THROUGH THE DRAIN COVER IN THE FLOOR. A GROUP OF LADIES ARE SHOWERING, SEE DAVE AND SCREAM. DAVE LAUGHS AND PULLS HIS HEAD BACK AGAIN

CHARLIE:
What do you see mate?

DAVE:
Stick your head in and have a look for yourself!

CHARLIE GRINS. HE STICKS HIS HEAD IN THE HOLE.

CUT TO CHARLIE'S HEAD POPPING UP IN AN ENCLOSED WHITE SPACE. HE LOOKS AROUND, PUZZLED. A SHADOW LOOMS OVER HIM AND HE LOOKS UP. HE SCREAMS.

CUT TO AN ENORMOUS FAT LADY SITTING DOWN ON THE TOILET WITH MUFFLED SCREAMS COMING FROM THE BOWL

END

The re-write is better. In the original, I thought one of them was hallucinating but you've trimmed that. Better ending too.

I'm not really getting it to be fair. Why does the other side keep changing?

Thanks Geoff

bigfella - it's a magic hole that transports you to different places