INT. ARTHUR'S CASTLE
12 Knights sit around the table. King Arthur leads the meeting.
ARTHUR
Ok, that's all the topics covered for today. Does anyone have any further points or questions?
Sir Galahad raises his hand.
ARTHUR
Sir Galahad?
GALAHAD
Yes, I'd like to bring something to the attention of the group.
ARTHUR
Continue.
GALAHAD
Well, it's rather embarrassing. But I've come to the end of my tether.
ARTHUR
What concerns you, Sir Galahad?
GALAHAD
It's Sir Ywain, your majesty.
Sir Ywain reacts.
YWAIN
Oh, what is it now Sir Gala-blab?
GALAHAD
This is my point exactly.
YWAIN (Mocking)
Wah-wah!
ARTHUR
Please, Ywain. Let Galahad speak.
GALAHAD
Well, it first started when he stole all my left side socks.
YWAIN
Haha! That was funny.
GALAHAD
He then filled them with leeches.
YWAIN
Hah! Classic.
GALAHAD
When he returned them. Well, I like to partake in self-pleasure and this includes the use of socks... I couldn't pee for a week!
Ywain laughs uncontrollably.
GALAHAD
That's not all.
ARTHUR
It's not?
GALAHAD
No. I received a letter from my mother. It was very distressing indeed. It was news of my father's passing. Apparently he died whilst making love to a pig, at a pig orgy.
ARTHUR
I'm sorry for you loss. But what does this have to do with Sir Ywain?
GALAHAD
He wrote it!
ARTHUR
Is this true, Sir Ywain?
YWAIN
Haha! Yes, I take all the credit.
ARTHUR
Very well. You've left me no choice. I dub thee Sir Ywain the Bastard.
GALAHAD
Ha! How do you like that Ywain the Bastard?!
YWAIN
It's pretty damn cool, actually.
ARTHUR
And you, Sir Galahad. I dub thee, Sir Tatty-tale-Girly-Pants.
Ywain collapses on the floor with laughter.
END
Cheers, Nil-bo.
