Quote: Kenneth @ August 1 2009, 2:37 PM BSTWhat kind of small dog is it?
Laptopdog?
Keyboard stuck. Page 2
Quote: Nil Putters @ August 1 2009, 2:55 PM BSTLaptopdog?
*groan*
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ August 1 2009, 2:58 PM BST*groan*
That's the only groan Nil hears.
Oh.....! Not nice!
I have you know I hear groans every time I walk into a room! There! That told you!
My ex- used to groan a lot whilst we were having sex, but luckily I never completely woke her up.
All this canine confab reminded me of an old joke:
Two dogs find themselves in the vet's waiting room. The first - a Doberman - asks the second what he's there for.
'I'm here to be put down,' was the reply. The Doberman expressed sympathy.
'Oh, it's not so bad, said the other one. 'I'm seventeen years old; I'm going deaf; I can't see properly; my waterworks are giving out; I've got arthritis ... it'll be a blessed relief. What about you? Why are you here?'
'Oh,' said the Doberman, 'it's a bit different. You see, I've belong to this young woman - she's gorgeous - and she lets me sleep on her bed. Sometimes she sleeps naked, and this morning when she got out of bed and bent over to straighten out the duvet ... well, I couldn't help myself, I got on my hind legs and gave her a good one.'
'So I suppose you're here to be put down too?' asked the other one.
'No, I'm here to have my claws clipped.'
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ August 1 2009, 2:52 PM BST
. No, she looks like Jessica Alba!
I can't believe that!
Quote: AndreaLynne @ August 1 2009, 2:35 PM BSTThen tell the dog it's going to the little doggie sausage factory. It works for our dog when he's done something bad.
That's mean! 
Quote: Griff @ August 1 2009, 3:21 PM BSTShe was probably dreaming about your stand-up routine.
Quote: Griff @ August 1 2009, 3:21 PM BSTyour stand-up routine.
There's some more double entendre there that I can't be bothered to find.
I remember a rumour about a girl we knew that she made sounds like a guinea pig but I always put it down as malicious gossip. Until, that is, my house mate broght her home one night and I heard them in the room next door.
I had a girlfriend once who used to make a sound, the type of which I had only previously heard whilst watching The Exorcist. I'm not necessarily saying I thought this was a good sign...
"You mother sucks cocks in hell"? I could see how that might be off-putting.