British Comedy Guide

Ghosts Anonymous

I'm not sure if I can make this into something more substantial or if I'd be dragging it out - if it's a sketch it needs an ending.

(Three men are visible, seated as part of a wider circle).

DAVE

We've still got to be careful Ian. We can't just go walking through walls.

IAN

Why?

DAVE

Because it's a myth.

IAN

No, it isn't.

DAVE

Fine. Well, smile for our new member.

IAN

No.

DAVE

I'm sorry mate, he's got no teeth you see.

TOM

Rotted away?

DAVE

No. Daft twat walked into a wall. Ghosts anonymous isn't just about turning up and saying that we're ghosts, we know that already, but rather we're here to share our experience.

FRED

Not bloody likely.

(The camera drops to Fred. He's sat upright in a coffin, and facing away from the circle)

IAN

Shut it, Fred.

DAVE

Fred's an example of denial.

FRED

No he isn't.

(Dave gets up and walks into Fred's eyeline. Fred jumps and screams in terror)

DAVE

For God's sake, you're a ghost too Fred.

IAN

He thinks we're haunting him

FRED

Why don't you people just bugger off - I'm waiting for the bingo

Hi Mark, are they actually in a bingo hall?

Seeing it as some sort of community centre, I reckon

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