McSeven-up

Ronald MacDonald addresses the camera, cigarette in hand.

RONALD

I'm primarily involved with voice-over work these days, it keeps me busy. We haven't all been so lucky though. The Hamburglar here...

(The HAMBURGLAR nervous shuffles into shot)

RONALD(...cont)

Well, no-one wants to advertise the unhealthy stuff any more. We tried to rebrand him as the 'Salad Burglar' but...

HAMBURGLAR

Salad's gay.

RONALD

Salad's gay. He's done a bit of stage work, like that play with the Potter kid, but it got a bit, well, intense.

HAMBURGLAR

I had to get my gherkin out.

RONALD

We'd take anything now though.

(Beat)

RONALD

Is that gin?

Ronald holds up a shaky cup to the camera, eyes pleading.

Ronald

Don't look at me.

The Hamburglar sighs, comes over to the front and ducks under the camera, towards Ronald's groin.

There's a great sketch in here but the directions are confusing and it feels a bit to brief so I can't quite see what's happening, but if it is what I think it is then it's great.

And if it's not, you should write that sketch pronto! Cheers Soots

I've asked for formatting help in a different section - I can't seem to get it looking right.

I just write the name in caps and the text underneath lower case. You can always fiddle with it if you're sending it anywhere.

Aye chief - I'm fine sorting it in word and such - but crap int hsi forum - I'll tinker

Just check out some more sketches and copy a style you like. Quote it to check the formatting.

The sketch? I didn't get it, but that could be down to how hard it was to read.

Cheers Nil - good thinking

I'm with sootyj.
Potential quality.
As to the formatting, whatever way you choose the idea is to be able to quickly and easily distinguish between Character Name, Dialougue and Action.
For writing direct into posts HTML is going to be a big help.
[>Help>BB code]

There's a very good idea here, but it needs a rewrite I reckon. Just doesn't seem quite polished enough.

The voiceover bit and the implied ending don't quite match up, unless I am missing something?

Dan

Cheers all - I appreciate it