Restaurant 2

A COUPLE JIM AND LIN ARE IN A RESTAURANT. THE WAITER IS JOHN CLEESE STYLE FRENCH

JIM
So did you watch Gillian McKeith yesterday? She told that fat family they must all eat be eating pigs, because they were all fat pigs.

LIN
And she scowled so much going through their poos, I thought she was going to turn her head inside out.

WAITER ARRIVES.

JIM
Ah waiter we'd like to order and as followers of Saint Gillian McKeith.

LIN
You'll need to take our order very carefully. I hope your Goji berries are fresh.

WAITER
I over heard your conversation and asked chef to prepare our special Gillian McKeith menu.

JIM
Well that's very progressive.

LIN
Hang on this is just 3 tupperware dishes.

JIM
And the first 2 are empty.

WAITER
Well we found most of Gillian McKeith's fans like to shit in tupperware and see who's got the nicest excrement. Rather than eat anything, the toilets are over there.

LIN
What's in the third one? Bloody hell that stinks!

WAITER
Ah for you to feel truly superior and enjoy the experience I provided a sample of my leavings. With a diet of foie gras, brandy and patissiere you should enjoy comparing it to your little squirrel droppings.

JIM
But I'm hungry what can I eat? I want to eat something.

WAITER
Ah monseiur if you are hungry you can eat my shit and die motherf**ker.

Gillian. Goji.

Corrected any other feedback?

bigot against fat people

How? It's about obsessive foody fads, do you actually read anything or do you just type blindly?

Quote: sootyj @ July 29 2009, 10:12 PM BST

How? It's about obsessive foody fads, do you actually read anything or do you just type blindly?

View original

really, mine was a joke too about immigrants, do you actually read anything or do you just type blindly?

Yes I shouldn't really, reading that sort of stuff just makes me kind of sad.
N.B. it's pretty rude to carry arguments over into other threads.

Quote: sootyj @ July 29 2009, 10:34 PM BST

Yes I shouldn't really, reading that sort of stuff just makes me kind of sad.
N.B. it's pretty rude to carry arguments over into other threads.

View original

just making a point that humour is humour and subjective, don't think yours is the bees knees it doesn't suit all, just as mine doesn't

Grow up, there's still time.

Quote: sootyj @ July 29 2009, 10:39 PM BST

Grow up, there's still time.

View original

you take the piss out of fat people, I take the piss out of immigrants.
I'm a pensioner, I've grown up long since

Isn't the last line cribbed from a Lance Armstrong interview?

I suspect Lance Armstrong is among a long and honourable list of people who have suggested others could eat shit and die.

But I suspect most of them unlike me were not using it as a germaine part of a sketch.