INT. JOB CENTRE. DAY
CAREERS ADVISOR AT A COMPUTER. ENTER DARREN.
ADVISOR:
Ah, Darren, isn't it? Your first time at the Job Centre? Let's try to make sure it's your last, shall we? First of all, what kind of careers are you interested in?
DARREN:
Fishmonger.
ADVISOR:
I see. Anything else?
DARREN:
Cheesemonger.
ADVISOR:
Yes.
DARREN:
Ironmonger.
ADVISOR:
Okay…
DARREN:
Any type of monging, really.
ADVISOR:
Monging?
DARREN:
Yes, I've always been really fascinated by monging. My dad was a monger, my granddad was a monger, my great granddad was a monger, my great-great...
ADVISOR:
Yes, yes, I get the point.
DARREN:
I really want to get into monging.
ADVISOR:
Well, you haven't set your sights very high, which is fine. It says here that you have four GCSEs. All F's.
DARREN:
I have a BTEC.
ADVISOR:
Oh? What subject?
DARREN:
Monging.
ADVISOR:
I see. Well, Darren, I don't think we have any monging jobs on the computer at the moment. But if it's supermarket work you're interested in, we do have an opening here for a shelf-stacker at Lidl. The money's not great, but you're definitely qualified.
DARREN:
Shelf-stacking? I don't want to do that!
ADVISOR:
Oh… well, let me see… um… how about this one? Lidl again, they're looking for a qualified… shelf-monger.
DARREN:
Perfect! I'll take it! [EXITS]
ADVISOR: (SIGHING)
What a mong.
REVEAL: SIGN ABOVE HIS DESK READS "JOBMONGER"
