I gassed an old chap who was in the habit of relieving his urethral stricture by using the arm of an old pair of spectacles (in the manner of a pipe cleaner), thus allowing him to pee. Unfortunately one time it got lodged all the way inside and stuck into his bladder. 6 hours it took to get that out. (To stay on-topic, he didn't say whether or not it was a present.)
Quote: Tim Walker @ July 24 2009, 3:12 PM BSTI gassed an old chap who was in the habit of relieving his urethral stricture by using the arm of an old pair of spectacles (in the manner of a pipe cleaner), thus allowing him to pee. Unfortunately one time it got lodged all the way inside and stuck into his bladder. 6 hours it took to get that out. (To stay on-topic, he didn't say whether or not it was a present.)
Was it J R Hartley?
(someone must have his fishing book as a present)
The Harry Potter Vibrating Broomstick has certainly proved popular.
Here are some reviews from parents who have purchased the gift for their children on Amazon.com:
This toy was #1 on my daughter's Christmas list. So what the heck, although it has no educational value I figured it would be good for imaginative play. It wasn't until after she opened her gift and started playing with it that I realized that the toy may offer a more than sensational experience. The broomstick has cute sound effects and ***VIBRATES*** when they put it between their legs to fly. Come on---what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed.
I recently bought this for my son, Vantro. He's a HUGE Harry Potter fan. Seen the movie 32 times (in the theaters) and made the paper. This toy gives him the ability to fly around the house zapping things. My only problem I see with the toy is the batteries drain too fast and his sister fights him over it, so now I need to buy her one.
When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I reccomend this for all children.
My 12 year old daughter is a big Harry Potter fan, and loved the part with the Nimbus 2000, so I decided to buy her this toy. I was afraid she would think it was too babyish, but she LOVES this toy. Even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick! A great buy for any Harry Potter fan! 
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ July 24 2009, 3:10 PM BSTI know a woman who had to have satsuma segments removed from an orifice.
Had she been innocently peeling said citrus fruit while in a state of undress, when she suddenly slipped over and managed to land on it? Or had someone inserted the segments with the intention of subsequently removing them orally? Or when you say 'orifice' do you mean 'mouth/throat'? Not that I'm terribly curious, just that I'd been listening to 'the worst job I ever had' sketch by Derek & Clive earlier today.
Quote: Kenneth @ July 24 2009, 3:33 PM BSTHad she been innocently peeling said citrus fruit while in a state of undress, when she suddenly slipped over and managed to land on it? Or had someone inserted the segments with the intention of subsequently removing them orally? Or when you say 'orifice' do you mean 'mouth/throat'? Not that I'm terribly curious, just that I'd been listening to 'the worst job I ever had' sketch by Derek & Clive earlier today.
I think her boyfriend had put them there (and no it wasn't her mouth)! 
Let that be a cautionary tale to us all then.
Quote: Kenneth @ July 24 2009, 3:37 PM BSTLet that be a cautionary tale to us all then.
Yes, always buy bananas instead. They're easier to retrieve.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 24 2009, 3:15 PM BSTI recently bought this for my son, Vantro.
Vantro!? F**king Vantro!!
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 24 2009, 3:15 PM BSTMy oldest daughter (17) really likes it too!
I bet she does, I bet she does. Eh?! Wooah!!
Quote: Tim Walker @ July 24 2009, 3:40 PM BSTYes, always buy bananas instead. They're easier to retrieve.
I think it was Christmas and they were trying to be seasonal.
A close friend of mine is an emergency room tech and he had the pleasure of working on Christmas eve and the bizareness of the patients he saw made for a fantastic present for him. He had a guy with a lightbulb stuck in his anus, an old man with turds in his pocket, a man who had pushed a candycane up his nose, and to top it all off, a woman who got her vibrater stuck, really stuck.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ July 24 2009, 3:10 PM BSTI know a woman who had to have satsuma segments removed from an orifice. And no it wasn't me. But she may have known Chip.
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