DAN IS TALKING TO TIM THEY ARE BOTH SCIENTISTS
DAN
Professor Tim I can't believe it they've discovered a new element.
TIM
So what?
DAN
But there's a new space on the periodic table.
TIM
Oh I get to f**k the missus once more a month that is good news.
DAN
Not that kind of periodic table you numbskull, how did you get to be chief professor of physics at Big University I don't know.
TIM
Hey I got a GCSE in physics and an NVQ in catering, plus I did really well on my work experience. Any way I don't know what you're getting so excited about.
DAN
Damn it Professor Tim, we have found a new building block of the very universe.
TIM
Nah we find 'em all the time, we just keep them secret and sell them to TV companies.
DAN
But what elements? How? Why?
TIM
Arse-anium, gobshite-anium, and Twat-anium how else do you think they build the contestants for Britain's got talent?