British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 787

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 17th December 2023, 5:47 PM

Is there any other type of football?

The most valuable sports league in the world comes to mind. But I enjoy both.

The one where foot and ball are rarely used together

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 18th December 2023, 7:56 AM

The one where foot and ball are rarely used together

Take a look at the list of all-time leading scorers in the NFL: they're all kickers.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_National_Football_League_career_scoring_leaders

Come on Herc. How could you do that to Delia's car?

And also(if anyone is interested) following our 8-0 drubbing on Saturday Sutton United have "parted ways" with our manager Matt Gray.

Clearly the thing to do, if you're feeling unwell, is to go to a football match. That way you'll get treated & well cared for immediately.

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Not content with VAR slowing the game down to a crawl , now they want blue cards and sin-bins?

Why can't they quit arsing about with football and leave it alone

Soon it will be like American football and each game will last over two bloody hours with all the stoppages and f**king about

Stenhousemuir (top by 15 pts) 1 Clyde (bottom & adrift by 8 pts) 6

What's going on there?

As Alan Hansen once said, you won't win anything with kids
unless it's against a mess of a Chelsea side

I've said it before, Chelsea attract too many non committed international mercenary types who float around clubs looking for the next big paying contract and Chelsea's billionaire bumpkin owners always oblige. They have no great love for the club and often just coast through games dreaming of their ridiculous pay cheques and what their next flash supercar will be. The club needs some new Terrys and Lampards to instil a bit of the old pride and commitment to the club again. Morning.

Morning.
Or a brilliant manager that can proverbially boot them up the arse.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 28th January 2024, 6:15 PM

Clearly the thing to do, if you're feeling unwell, is to go to a football match. That way you'll get treated & well cared for immediately.

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Seems like very sound advice actually, having last year waited for 18 hours in an A&E and the inexperienced doctor still didn't have a clue what I had, which was diagnosed in 10 minutes by an older GP three days later. And in the news ofcourse a lady recently died waiting to be seen. I really should start going to see Aldershot more, although that usually makes me feel ill in itself.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 26th February 2024, 2:14 AM

As Alan Hansen once said, you won't win anything with kids

As I recall, the West Sussex Youth League under 12 division was regularly won by kids every year.

The first time, tonight, that a top-flight player has scored five goals in an FA Cup match since George Best sored six v Northampton in 1970.

We're all taking Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) accidentally, aren't we?
Pogba did and now is on the sub's bench permanently for four years.

A masterclass from the Arse tonight.

Only the second top-flight team to score 5+ goals in three successive away league games (the other being Burnley in 1961/62 (6-2 v Birmingham, 6-2 v Leicester & 5-3 v Fulham).

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