British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 721

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 9th June 2021, 10:42 AM

My first budgerigar was called Danny. After Danny Blanchflower.

(Just thought I'd mention it while the subject of budgerigar names and football have come together on the same thread. I may never get such an opportunity again.)

Laughing out loud

Anyway with Sutton United being promoted to the football league for the first time in their 123 year history and Chelsea winning the Champions League I can't expect England to win too.

Incidentally I passed Sutton's ground today and saw where the artificial pitch was being dug up by bulldozers. A sad sight. Such a shame for all those lower league teams struggling to make ends meet should be able to invest in them as real money making schemes.

Quote: Chappers @ 9th June 2021, 3:23 PM

Incidentally I passed Sutton's ground today and saw where the artificial pitch was being dug up by bulldozers.

I'm surprised you didn't grab a bit - that brown and orange abstract print carpet has been down in your lounge since 1978!

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th June 2021, 3:32 PM

I'm surprised you didn't grab a bit - that brown and orange abstract print carpet has been down in your lounge since 1978!

Where have you bugged my flat?

Quote: Chappers @ 9th June 2021, 3:48 PM

Where have you bugged my flat?

I was that flighty woman you picked up in the Hand and Racquet last Friday. Didn't you wonder why you didn't get anywhere with me - how I kept refusing your advances, you dirty boy. :$

Uuuurgh...

To mark our first season in the Football League Sutton United are introducing a third kit which apparently is an EFL requirement.

It's black with yellow trim but it also has the names of all of last season's Season Ticket holders in charcoal on the back. Obviously very small but I know I'm on there.

Quote: Chappers @ 17th June 2021, 8:48 PM

To mark our first season in the Football League Sutton United are introducing a third kit which apparently is an EFL requirement.

It's black with yellow trim but it also has the names of all of last season's Season Ticket holders in charcoal on the back. Obviously very small but I know I'm on there.

If I'd invested £500 in the new Plough Lane stadium, I could have had my name on a urinal.

A part of my front lawn is turf from the Huddersfield town pitch from before they moved to a new stadium.
£20 for a square foot.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 17th June 2021, 9:38 PM

A part of my front lawn is turf from the Huddersfield town pitch from before they moved to a new stadium.
£20 for a square foot.

I have a seat back from the old Wembley Stadium in my lounge. Number 67.

Image

I understand they're holding a raffle for the new Tottenham manager's job.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 18th June 2021, 1:19 PM

I have a seat back from the old Wembley Stadium in my lounge. Number 67.

Image

Nice. Never sat in one of the old seats. It was always a long splintery bench with the number painted on it and a painted white line to define your bit. Ok unless you got sat next to a fat bastard who's arse went over both sides.

Copied off the BBC website.

Izzy Brown [Preston - Chelsea] Free

I think they've got that the wrong way round because I really can't believe Chelsea would sign a PNE player on a free.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th June 2021, 3:32 PM

I'm surprised you didn't grab a bit - that brown and orange abstract print carpet has been down in your lounge since 1978!

Well I've got a bit. The centre spot. My son won it in an auction for my birthday present.

They keep on about Iranian Ali Daei being the record international goalscorer with 109 goals.

As Iran have very rarely got to a World Cup finals, what kind of opposition did he score all these goals against? Presumably very weak Asian or Middle Eastern countries.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_international_goals_scored_by_Ali_Daei

He scored 4 in a 19-0 win against Guam. 4 against Nepal, 5 against Sri Lanka.

I know they all count but really a proper goalscorer like Ronaldo is ready to overtake him.

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