British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 211

I firmly blame the People's Friend magazine who in 1968 gave its exclusively women readers a free crochet pattern for a toilet roll cover along with a trial size pack of opinion.

*calls self MCP to save lady BCGers posts for 'Fluffiest kitten I ever said Arrgh to' and 'What's the worst thing you have ever called your husband and got away it it because it was your special time' threads.

I wonder what these so-called "women" will say if tonight's game goes into extra time and results in Charlie Brooker's new show being postponed til next week?

Fantastic night. Went to watch Blackpool v United in a pub where pints are £1.50 and you get a free hotdog at Half Time. They made too many, so I had two hotdogs, a couple of pints and watched United go from 2-0 down to 3-2 up- all that for £3 is value for money to the extreme. Fantasic Berbatov- you are pure class

Oh yes and I propose Chris Kamara to replace Andy Gray.

Good night for the reds - always good to give them a start first!

Andy Grays replacement? Easy - Sid the Sexist off Viz.

'Tits oot fer the lads!'

On a far more serious note, I think its a fabulous day for society when a pillar of the media side of our most popular sport is disciplined so heavily for his prehistoric views, and treatment of females.

Wouldn't it be a perfect conclusion to this shameful fiasco if a lady was to take over his role as a co-commentator and pundit?

Especially if she has big tits, and goes like a train.

Andy Gray admits he may have crossed the line, but says the female linesman definetly wouldn't have spotted it.

Man United.

"I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand."

When will teams learn that if you are going to go into an unexpected lead against United at least wait until after half-time so Fergie hasn't got the opportunity to do the hairdryer.

When I saw Blackpool were two up I was undertandably happy but at no point did I expect United to come away with anything less than a draw. Their never say die attitude deserves respect and any real football fan should acknowledge it however hard it is to swallow. In the words of Chris Kamara, "Unbelievable Jeff!"

What will be interesting to see is what they will be like in five years time. Quite a high proportion of the squad are already over 30, or will be by the end of the year and the rest are largely in their early 20s.

What will happen once Alex goes? Looking at Liverpool's and United's major trophy records Liverpool are on 40 and United on 37 - is he just waiting till he gets the 19th title and 41st trophy? The way things are going that won't be too far away...

Its been said for years Tuumble. As long as SAF is there it will just rumble (rhymes with tuumble eh?) on

When he goes - who the f**k knows?

By the way, great value for money Jack - what a right result all round!

Quote: Jack Massey @ January 25 2011, 3:54 PM GMT

Ermmm, I go to a lot of non-league matches where a lot of women are assistants and they get a lot of abuse from the fans, some of it being really harsh and too far. I just think 'Someone explain the offside rule to her' is just a bit of a cliche. I understand where they're coming from. Football is a male dominated game, for example I dread the world cup as questions by women regarding football matters seem to horrendously multiply during a world cup. My sister is forever asking about the offside rule, I know a few women football fans who are unsure of the rule (hell, even an experienced football fan like myself gets confused with it from time to time with all the clauses in it). So I just think they were saying how the offside rule isn't understood by women as a bit of irony.
I hate the way it's being compared with the Ron Atkinson thing. That is a gross comparison, that was just plain downright offensive.

I bet there's millions of blokes who don't really understand it. Not surprising really as they keep tinkering with it.

And apparently Andy Gray asked a woman assistant if she'd attach his microphone to his trousers. Apparently that was the final straw.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Quote: Tuumble @ January 25 2011, 10:33 PM GMT

Man United.

"I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand."

When will teams learn that if you are going to go into an unexpected lead against United at least wait until after half-time so Fergie hasn't got the opportunity to do the hairdryer.

When I saw Blackpool were two up I was undertandably happy but at no point did I expect United to come away with anything less than a draw. Their never say die attitude deserves respect and any real football fan should acknowledge it however hard it is to swallow. In the words of Chris Kamara, "Unbelievable Jeff!"

What will be interesting to see is what they will be like in five years time. Quite a high proportion of the squad are already over 30, or will be by the end of the year and the rest are largely in their early 20s.

What will happen once Alex goes? Looking at Liverpool's and United's major trophy records Liverpool are on 40 and United on 37 - is he just waiting till he gets the 19th title and 41st trophy? The way things are going that won't be too far away...

What will happen after Ferguson retires - or dies on the job?

Quote: zooo @ January 25 2011, 8:46 PM GMT

You're definitely picking on the right person in this situation, Will!

Sorry Zooo, comedic effect overriding objectivity

**asks for numerous offences to be taken into consideration**

You've been very bad. I shall look at you sternly.
*does so*

There. You won't be doing that again.

Quote: zooo @ January 24 2011, 9:50 PM GMT

Do us a favour, love.

Quote: Chappers @ January 25 2011, 11:07 PM GMT

or Ferguson dies on the job?

If it coincided with the ludicrous state funeral planned for Thatcher, then I could die a happy man.

Quote: Oldrocker @ January 25 2011, 11:51 PM GMT

If it coincided with the ludicrous state funeral planned for Thatcher, then I could die a happy man.

Tramp the dirt down?

Quote: Oldrocker @ January 25 2011, 11:51 PM GMT

then I could die a happy man.

Why not try living as one once in a while?

Quote: Tim Walker @ January 25 2011, 11:57 PM GMT

Why not try living as one once in a while?

Are you after bigfella's schtick?

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