EXT. STREET - DAY
Leevil stands across the street from sooty, whose putting up his latest sign.
LEEVIL
(To himself)
Oh, sooty, my dear pal. Enjoy that sign hanging whilst you can. For it shall be your last!
Man walks past.
MAN
Did you say something?
LEEVIL
Erm... no?
MAN
Oh, ok. It just sounded threatening, is all.
LEEVIL
(Excited)
Did it?
MAN
A little bit yeah.
LEEVIL
How threatening?
MAN
I'd say, as threatening as a small dog or large cat, maybe?
LEEVIL
Oh, that's not too bad then.
MAN
Yeah, yeah. Keep it up. You'll be at child with a baseball bat soon.
LEEVIL
Oh, cheers. Yeah, thanks.
MAN
No problem, see you around.
LEEVIL
Cheerio.
The man walks off.
LEEVIL
Mwah ha ha ha!
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NEXT DAY
Sooty finishes hanging his latest sign. Leevil hides in the shadows.
LEEVIL
This is it, Mr. Soots!
Man appears over Leevil's shoulder.
MAN
Ooo not bad. But how about? All signs point to: Death?
LEEVIL
OH f**k, where did you come from? And I'm not a bloody magic 8 ball.
MAN
It was just a suggestion.
LEEVIL
Do you mind? I'm busy.
MAN
Well...
Man walks off.
Sooty, now finished, leaves the scene.
Leevil takes his chance and climbs up to the sign.
It reads - "Building Society" - Leevil swaps the letters around.
It now reads - "Bulging Society".
Loads of fat people wobbly into the shop.
LEEVIL
Mwah ha ha ha!!
CUT TO:
STREET - NEXT DAY
Leevil finishes his own sign hanging.
Which reads - "Porn Shop".
INT. PORN SHOP.
A fisherman enter the shop and walks up to the counter.
FISHERMAN
I'd like your smelliest fish please!
SHOP KEEP
There's a mature section over there and Paris Hilton's sex tapes on special offer over here.
FISHERMAN
What?!
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET.
Leevil takes down the sign, which has been changed to - "Prawn Shop"
LEEVIL
Soooooooooooooooooooty!!!!!!!!!!!
MAN
Ooo Lex Luther eat your heart out.
LEEVIL
F**k off!
END.
In the words of Peter Andre; "This is insania"