British Comedy Guide

The Humour Striker

EXT: MAN WEARING A RED NOSE IS CHAINED TO RAILINGS OUTSIDE THE BBC.
CARD HANGING ON HIS CHEST READS: HUMOUR STRIKE. I'VE LOST MY WILL TO LAUGH.

BYSTANDERS THROW PUNNY LINES AT HIM TO TEST HIS SPIRIT.

BYSTANDER 1: You look funny, to me, mate. I bet you're *gagging* for it.

BYSTANDER 2: Fed you too many straight lines, have they?

BYSTANDER 3 TO PREV BYSTANDER: Who pulled *your* chain?

THEY ALL LAUGH

BYSTANDER 1: You auditioning for the new James Bondage film?

BYSTANDER 5 to the other 4: It's pathetic wankers like you that drove him it.

BYSTANDER 1 - aggressively: You being funny?

BYSTANDER 4 - nonchalantly: If you can't spot it you ain't got it.

BYSTANDER 2 – aggressively: What's that s'posed to mean?

BYSTANDER 4 - nonchalantly: If you can't get it don't sweat it.

BYSTANDER 3 – very aggressively: Are you *looking* for it, mate?

BYSTANDER 4 – nonchalantly: No thanks, sweety. My sexlife's fine. I'm not
into gay, anyway.

THE HUMOUR STRIKER BEGINS TO SMILE

BYSTANDER 2 – fuming: You effing homophobes make me sick.

BYSTANDER 4 – nonchalantly: Don't eat us then.

THE HUMOUR STRIKER BEGINS TO GRIN

BYSTANDER 1 – screaming mad: You piss-taking ponce. I'm gonna kick yer teeth in?

HUMOUR STIKER STIFLES A LAUGH

BYSTANDER 4 – nonchalantly: You another chains and railing, case, are you?

HUMOUR STRIKER STARTS LAUGHING

BYSTANDERS 1,2 & 3 SET ABOUT BYSTANDER 4.

THE HUMOUR STRIKER'S LAUGHING HIS HEAD OFF

CUT TO THE THREE UNCONCIOUS ASSAILANTS DRAPED OVER THE RAILINGS.

BYSTANDER 4 UNCHAINING THE HUMOUR STRIKER WHO'S HELPLESS WITH LAUGHTER:
That's got you sorted. Come on, dad. Time to go home.

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