A HEADMASTER IS TALKING TO A GOVERNMENT MINISTER (BOB)
BOB
Well done headmaster after fitting your pupils with pedometers they're the only ones in the country to cover 15,000 steps a day.
HEADMASTER
Thank you minister it's been quite a struggle.
BOB
Not so fast headmaster. We decided to see why it was some of the kids were making 30,000-100,000 steps a day. So we swopped the pedometers for GPS locators.
HEADMASTER
Aaah, erm oh dear I can explain.
BOB
Really explain how many of your pupils whilst they were supposed to be in school were in fact; on the streets, the park and in the vets.
HEADMASTER
Ok I'll come clean. The kids have been sticking the monitors on their dogs.
BOB
That would explain why 6 of your pupils were adopted from Batersea Dog's home and one was put to sleep.
HEADMASTER
But it's not all bad minister. Some of the dogs have started coming to school instead of the pupils; disciplines improved, most of them can read better than the pupils and our local pervert has moved on since he tried offering a Rottweiler some sweets.
BOB
Hmm you make a good case, but can dogs really replace the incredibly lazy and incompetent? Where would it end? I'll call the minister for education.
SOUND OF BOB DIALLING
BOB
Hello minister, yes daddy loves you, who's a good boy.