British Comedy Guide

Gordon's Mantras

This sounds like it wasn't used in Newsjack, so here it is in all it's glory.

Dan

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GORDON'S MANTRAS
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MILES:
Apparently, it seems that rather than raising self-esteem, reciting mantras has the opposite effect. On the phone to discuss this is the Prime Minister. Mr Brown, what's all this nonsense?

GORDON:
(D) I don't think it's true, Miles. Self-help mantras have always helped me and I feel fine. (BEAT) I feel fine. (BEAT) I feel fine.

MILES:
Are you sure?

GORDON:
(D) Oh yes! How would it look if I didn't? I'm the country's leader. (BEAT) I'm the country's leader. (BEAT) I'm the country's leader. Not David Cameron. (BEAT) Not David Cameron. (STARTS TO BLUB) Not David Cameron.

MILES:
Are you okay, Mr Brown?

GORDON:
(D) (SOBBING) I'm fine, Miles. I'm fine. I'm fine. I am a strong and powerful man. (GRITTED TEETH) I *am* a strong and powerful man. (WAILS) I. (SOB) Am. (SOB) A. (SOB) Strong (SOB) And (BLUB) Powerful (BARELY AUDIBLE) Man...

MILES:
Of course you are. Mr Brown, thank you very much.

GORDON:
(D) (SQUEAKS) That's fineā€¦

END

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