The second script for Blindside - be nice.
SCENE 1. INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT
KEITH is lying on his bed. We hear the front door open and close.
SCENE 2. INT. HALLWAY. NIGHT
KEITH comes out of his room. JACK, dressed in work shirt and tie, is locking up. He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket.
JACK
I got you Lisa's number. Don't mess it up this time.
He hands KEITH the piece of paper and goes through to his bedroom. KEITH looks at the piece of paper. It has a phone number written on it
KEITH V.O.
You need to call her as soon as possible. The worst thing you could do is delay it and get hung up about it.
SCENE 3. INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT
KEITH is lying on his bed, looking at the piece of paper.
KEITH V.O.
Remember: the worst thing you can do is take too long to call. I mean, obviously you can't phone her tonight - she only gave Jack the number tonight. You'd look far too eager. Just don't take too long. What do I say to her when I do call though? What do other people say on dates? Tell her she looks good you can't go far wrong with that.
SCENE 4. INT. PUB. NIGHT (FANTASY)
KEITH and LISA sit with drinks.
KEITH
You look great - really beautiful.
LISA smiles.
LISA
Thanks.
Pause.
KEITH
No…I mean…really beautiful. Amazing.
Pause.
KEITH (Awkwardly)
I really can't believe how…um…beautiful you are; I mean…how someone so beautiful could be made out of just sperm and eggs.
LISA gapes at him in disbelief.
SCENE 5. INT. FLAT. NIGHT
KEITH looks mortified.
KEITH
No, for god's sake don't say that! Sperm and eggs. What's the matter with you?! Tell her she looks good then stay off the whole subject! Don't say anything - let her do the talking and she'll be the one who looks stupid. Anyway, if you keep saying how good she looks, she's more likely to notice that you aren't that good-looking. (Beat) Jesus, she's going to notice that anyway…
SCENE 6. EXT. PUB. NIGHT (FANTASY)
LISA stands outside the pub, dressed up for a date, with her handbag. KEITH arrives. LISA sees him, screams, tips the contents of her bag onto the pavement and puts it over his head.
SCENE 7. INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT
KEITH is still lying on his bed.
KEITH V.O.
Come on - how likely is that? No woman would tip all the stuff from her handbag out in the street like that. (Beat) Would she really want to meet up with you just so she could humiliate you in public? It's a lot of hassle to go to just to do that. Myabe that's what she gets off on! Jack says she's seen me - she knows what I look like. Maybe she isn't bothered about that stuff; maybe she's more bothered about brains. You've got brains. But you can't whip them out of your head and go 'check out the size of these brains' - you need to show you've got them through intelligent conversation. (Beat.) God, why can't girls make it easier to have things to say to them? Why can't they just tell us what they want us to say?
SCENE 8. INT. PUB. NIGHT (FANTASY)
LISA is reading from a piece of paper.
LISA
Start by complimenting me on my appearance. Next ask me a few general, open questions about my life - my tastes and interests…
SCENE 9. INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT
KEITH is still lying on the bed thinking to himself.
KEITH V.O. (Sarcastic)
Oh yeah - they'd love that wouldn't they! If we had to ask them to tell us what to say to them. That way they could control everything. Well I don't need her to control me. I'll think of my own things to say and I'll phone when I'm ready.
SCENE 10. EXT. STREET. DAY
KEITH is walking down the street, looking at the supermarket, which is at the bottom of the street.
KEITH V.O.
If I don't call her soon I'll never be able to go into the supermarket again in case she's on the counter. I'll have to go to another one. I'll just go to the offie and then I'll call her. (Beat) Well obviously I'll have a few beers first, to loosen up a bit, then I'll call her.
LISA comes out of the supermarket dressed in her work uniform.
KEITH V.O.
That's her! Shit - hide!
He moves into a side alleyway and continues to watch LISA from round the corner. She takes a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, removes one and starts to smoke it.
KEITH
Wait - does she smoke? Why didn't Jack tell me she smokes?
Cut to JACK facing the camera in close-up. He moves his lips, but it is KEITH'S voice we hear, whiney and parodic.
JACK
I didn't think it was important.
Cut back to KEITH behind the wall in the alley. He is still watching LISA standing outside the supermarket smoking.
KEITH V.O.
In my semiotics class they said something about how cigarettes represent symbolic penises - or something like that. Damn it - she's got symbolic penises! There's no way I can phone a girl with a symbolic penis, she could hold it over me. Maybe that's what she's trying to do, standing there with her symbolic penis in her mouth, taunting me. No, she doesn't know I'm here - I'm hiding. Why am I hiding? I've got as much right to be out on the street as she has! She wants me to hide away round the corner! She's trying to make me feel like I don't have a penis - emasculating bitch! I know what she's up to - I've got her number. I read that thing that guy wrote in his blog online about how all women really want to emasculate men. Well, f**k her! I've got as much of a penis as she has and she's not going to make me feel otherwise!
SCENE 11. INT. PUB. NIGHT (FANTASY)
KEITH and LISA are sitting at a table together. LISA takes out a pack of cigarettes.
LISA
Do you want one?
KEITH
No thanks - I don't smoke.
LISA nods.
SCENE 12. EXT. STREET. DAY
KEITH is still standing on the street.
KEITH V.O.
Oh yeah - I know what that nod means. I know what she's thinking.
SCENE 13. INT. PUB. NIGHT (FANTASY)
KEITH and LISA are sitting at a table together the same as before. The GIRL again takes out a packet of cigarettes.
LISA
Do you want one?
KEITH
No thanks - I don't smoke.
LISA nods and lights up. She takes a drag and blows smoke in KEITH'S face.
LISA V.O. (Smugly)
Ha! The penis is mine.
SCENE 14. EXT. STREET. DAY
He is still hiding in the alley, peering at LISA from behind the wall.
KEITH V.O.
Just play it cool - don't let her intimidate you.
SCENE 15. INT. PUB. NIGHT (FANTASY)
Again KEITH and LISA sit with drinks. LISA offers KEITH a cigarette.
LISA
Do you want one?
KEITH (Angrily)
What's that supposed to mean? Are you trying to say I haven't got a cock and I need you to give me one? Oh I know what you women are like - you're all the same! I've got your number! Just 'cos I'm not swinging it around like some f**king Neanderthal you try and make me feel like I've not even got one! Well I have and unlike you I don't need to set stick it in my mouth and set fire to it just to prove myself to girls like you! Unlike you, I'm secure in my masculinity.
SCENE 16. EXT. STREET. DAY
KEITH is still hiding round the corner in the alley watching LISA smoke her cigarette.
KEITH V.O.
That f**king told her! Don't say "unlike you", though; she's a girl - she doesn't have a masculinity. (Beat) Thing is – you totally are secure in your masculinity! Do you really need her trying to undermine you and make you feel like you're intimidated by her? If that's what her game is you're better off not phoning her. (Beat) God - bloody go back inside so I can get out of this f**king alley and go to the offie and get home! How long does it take to smoke a f**king cigarette? She doing it deliberately! She knows I've had to hide in this stupid alley so she doesn't know I'm here!
He hovers, agitatedly in the alley. LISA finishes her cigarette and goes back inside the supermarket. He leaves the alley and moves off down the street.
SCENE 17. INT. FLAT. DAY
KEITH and JACK are watching television.
JACK
So…have you called Lisa yet?
KEITH
No. I've only had the number a week.
JACK
Call her. You need to get out of the flat more and meet girls. Frankly, mate, you're getting a bit weird.
KEITH mutters something indecipherable.
JACK
Don't screw this up. How often do you have a girl wanting to give you her number?
KEITH
It's not me who's screwing it up! She's trying to put her handbag over my head and make me feel like I don't have a penis in my mind! I'm on to her!
JACK
What are you on about? You haven't even met her.
KEITH taps his head, manically.
KEITH
I'm talking mentally!
He storms out of the room.
SCENE 18. INT. FLAT. NIGHT
KEITH is lying on his bed looking at the piece of paper with the number on it, which is still pinned to the wall.
GUY V.O.
You're doing the right thing not phoning - you're better off just staying on your own. She just wants to undermine you, the emasculating, feminazi bitch. I know what her game is…I've got her number.
He tears up the piece of paper, turns off the light and lies in the darkness.
End.
