Ore Clones.

SERGEANT IVOR TRUNCHEON IS IN A MEETING WITH WPC AMY THINGUSAY

WPC
Sergeant Truncheon bad news.

SERGEANT
Oh no has Ronni Biggs been released to carry out a campaign of wheel chair based terror?

WPC
No sir worse than that, we're going to have to release all the Operation Ore suspects.

SERGEANT
But why WPC Thingusay?

WPC
It turns out that almost of them didn't buy child porn, they had their credit cards cloned. We're going to have to release all but 39 of them.

SERGEANT
Oh good it's not a complete disaster.

WPC
Not really those are the 39 who commited suicide and I don't know what we're going to do about the chap who had his testicles chopped off by his cell mate.

SERGEANT
No balls? Well he can investigate the G20 police brutality complaints.

WPC
Isn't there a danger that any one can claim their cards were cloned to get away with breaking the law?

SERGEANT
I shouldn't think so. Now there's a Mr Brown who claims somone's used his credit card to buy a couple of 5 billion pound aircraftr carriers.

I didn't know the story but I smiled at WPC Amy Thingusay after reading her name twice. No doubt, there is going to be a picture of her in the police gazzette on her wedding day with the caption underneath that says:

Amy Thingusay - Will Betakendownandmaybeusedineveidenceagainstyou

Quote: sootyj @ July 3 2009, 4:00 PM BST

A PRISON WARDER IS TALKING TO A PRISONER
WARDER
Right 23790 Jones you can go. Pack your bags and lets let by gones be by gones.

PRISONER
I'm free oh thank God I can see my family again, no more sewing mail sacks and absolutely no more savage beatings in the shower. Hang on why are you letting me go?

WARDER
Well it's a bit embarassing. You see it turns out you didn't order any child pornography on your credit card nor did anyone else in the Operation Ore investigation your credit card was cloned. So we're having to let all but 39 of you go.

PRISONER
And they're guilty?

WARDER
Yes guilty of a terrible crime, they commited suicide.

PRISONER
All these bloody years I told you I was innocent and you wouldn't listen!

WARDER
Oh now come on sir. If we didn't lock up every one who said they were innocent there'd be nobody in jail but Ronni Biggs and I'd be out of a job.

PRISONER
So all this of cloned credit cards who'd have thought it.

WARDER
It's quite wide spread sir aparently 600 MPs had their credit cards cloned and used to order ridiculous second mortgages and 2 mooky aircraft carriers.

View original

Shit! Not the sketch, that was good. I checked the story on this thinking you had exagerated the number of suicides...bloody hell!

Of course, this was way too 'difficult' ever to have a chance at Newsjack, if that's where you sent it.

It is a truly horrific story, I suppose I can send 3 skits and at least 1 can be one that means something to me.

I guess I also liked writing it.

Quote: sootyj @ July 4 2009, 10:54 PM BST

It is a truly horrific story, I suppose I can send 3 skits and at least 1 can be one that means something to me.

I guess I also liked writing it.

View original

Absolutely, I think it's important to create stuff that matters to you, and you have a talent for hard hitting stuff...I'd be surprised to hear it on NJ is all. They do seem to be getting a little pithier though this week, so maybe by the end of the run they'll be ready for you.

Just a thought - as a pun would the name "Annie Thingusay" be more accurate?

Yes that does sound better.