The police haven't tazered anyone recently so no good for Newsjack.
SARGE: Alright, settle down you lot. Let's get this over and done with.
DOBBS: Why do we need tazer retraining, Sarge?
SARGE: Because, constable, you lot have been a bit…trigger happy with them, especially during peaceful protests.
JONES: Why am I here Sarge? I've never tazered anyone.
SARGE: You are here, Jones, because you embarrassed the force by shooting yourself with your own tazer. Out of interest, how did you manage to do that?
JONES: I was just trying to adjust it like this and I accidentally…
F/X: TAZER ZAP
JONES: GNYAAARRGGHHH!!
F/X: FALLS OFF HIS CHAIR
SARGE: (SIGH)
DOBBS: And why am I here Sarge? The only person I've tazered was a suspected terrorist.
SARGE: No Dobbs, the person you tazered was a perfectly innocent man who just happened to have a beard which made him look a bit like Guy Fawkes. Look – Atkins, Woods and Davis are here because they tazered 47 people at last week's anti-BNP protest. Jones is here because he's an idiot…
JONES: Sorry Sarge, won't happen aga….
F/X: TAZER ZAP
JONES: GNYAAARRGGHHH!!
SARGE: (sigh) …and Wilson is here because the Super caught her using her tazer to heat her lunch up when the canteen microwave broke. Now. Can we please get on with the training?
ALL: Sorry Sarge.
SARGE: Right. Now. When preparing to discharge your tazer, always make absolutely sure that nobody is filming you on their mobile phone. OK, training over. Back to work you lot.
