Newsjack Week 3 -- sketch reject no. 1
Cheers
Dan
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NO NEWS DAY
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F/X
EN TAPPING ON TABLE
HEAD WRITER:
So, any sketchworthy news this week?
WRITER 2:
Nothing at all. The *only* news has been Michael Jackson.
F/X:TAPPING OF PEN ON DESK. SIGHS.
WRITER 2:
We could, you know, *create* some news?
WRITER 3:
You mean get out there and do something newsworthy?
WRITER 2:
Then put an interesting spin on it to write the sketches!
HEAD WRITER:
(UNSURE) Okay. What did you have in mind?
WRITER 2:
We could... erm... rob a bank!
HEAD WRITER:
Is it newsworthy enough, robbing a bank?
WRITER 3:
We could rob a bank in hats!
HEAD WRITER:
Hmm. Might get us a little italic box in 'The Sun'...
WRITER 2:
How about we rob a bank in hats and *sing*?
HEAD WRITER:
Better. Getting somewhere now I think…
WRITER 3:
What about rob a bank in *masks*, wearing hats, singing?
HEAD WRITER:
Better Still!
WRITER 2:
Hang on, if we put the spin in the actual newsworthy… news, we wouldn't even have to write the sketch!
WRITER 3:
It'd write itself!
WRITER 2:
Like everything Boris Johnson does!
F/XEN SCRIBBLING
HEAD WRITER:
So we're going to rob a bank in celebrity masks and hats (BEAT) singing pop classics.
WRITER 3:
We could thrust our groins whilst shrieking!
WRITER 2:
And moonwalk!
HEAD WRITER:
The headline would be "WACKO CELEBRITY NAME ROBS BANK!"
WRITER 2:
That'd make the news! And the sketch would be easy!
HEAD WRITER:
Absolutely! Now, whose face could we use?
WRITER 2:
Anybody been in the news recently?
WRITER 3:
If their nickname rhymed with 'WACKO', that'd be perfect!
F/X:CLICKING OF PENS, TAPPING OF FINGERS
HEAD WRITER:
Anybody?
WRITER 3/2:
Nope/Nah, can't think of any one.
F/X
CRUNCHING OF PAPER AND SIGHS
WRITER 3:
(TENTATIVE) Barack-O?
END
You're like good cop bad cop rolled into one!