GANGSTERS

GANGSTERS: RAYZ, GUTZ & SHIV.

RAYZ
"You up for it, then?"

GUTZ
Course we are. We're well tough."

RAZE
"Well tough?"

SHIV
"Yeah, like in well 'ard."

RAYZ
"LIKE in well 'ard. OR really 'ard?"

GUTZ
"Àrd and well mean. Know what I mean?"

RAYZ
"What? You mean like... well I mean, that your like, well mean, like?"

SHIV
"What he means, like. Is that we're mean like, and well... 'ard as well, like. And we got guts, ain't we like?"

RAYZ
"Yeah, I know we got Gutz, I ain't blind, like. But we're gonna need Aris, for this trick, aint we, like"

GUTZ & SHIV
"Harris? Who's he, like?"

RAYZ
"What? Who's who, like?"

SHIV
"This Harris? Where'd he come from? Thought this job was a three-up didn't I?"

RAZE
"Thick git. I meant like in Aristotle, like in bottle, like in balls."

GUTZ
"Lost me, Raze. We got a new bloke on the team, then?"

SHIV
"There ain't enough in this trick for a four-way split. Screw Harris
or I'm out.

RAYZ
"I'm the geezer, here, Shiv. You ain't out til I say you're out."

GUTZ
"I'm with Shiv. He walks, I walk."

RAYZ
"What a pair of twats. You blow this and I'll have the pair of yer
for breakfast."

GUTZ.
"It's tea time, Rayz."

SHIV
"Kin' Hell. I'm off. The old lady'll kill me if I'm late again."

RAZE
"Well 'ard? Well mean? Ha, ha, ha. You're scared of the old lady. You ain't got it Shiv. Better of without a slag like him, aren't we, Gutz.

BELLS RING NEARBY

SHIV.
"We better beat it. We get caught in here we're gonna get a week's detention."

This is a pretty old joke. Nothing wrong with that, but without a twist or any original lines enroute it's a tad pointless.

Also with no twists or funny lines if you really feel the need to make this joke you could do it in 2-3 lines.

Thanks. Another one bites the dust.

If you're serious about sketch writing (I have my doubts) then check out the advice in the writers section. Otherwise it's usually a good idea to have a twist.

e.g. with this sketch they actually carry out the robbery or if it's radio sketch we realise their in prison and the "old lady" is Shiv's rapist cell mate.

I think this is two different sketches. I like the first one -- it's got potential with the 'gangstas' not understanding their own vernacular. Might need one of them to be a posh bloke trying to get into the gang, and they don't understand him and he doesn't understand them.

The Aris bit is a different sketch and I don't like that one as much.

Dan

Thanks for the input, Dan. Appreciated.