Radio Sketch - Affair Cop

Dunno whether to extend it a tad?

F/X A lady quietly snores. Floorboards creak.

JON (Whispered) Quiet Dave, we don't want to wake her.

DAVE (Whispered) Shut up then, and grab her jewellery.

F/X Door slams & footsteps up stairs.

JON Shit

F/X Smashing glass followed by distant thud.

EMMA What's that? What's going on? What's wrong?

DAVE (Shocked) He's jumped out of the window.

EMMA Oh no! Has he? Hang on! Who the bloody Hell are you and what're you doing with my telly?

F/X Door opens

BRIAN Aha! Caught you, you adulterous bint.

DAVE What?

BRIAN You aint the first, feller. Look, I'll just nip your cock off now and we'll say no more about it.

DAVE Oi! Why do you think I'd touch her? This is just a botched burglary, mate.

BRIAN Really?

DAVE Really. She's got sideburns. Tell him.

EMMA We've all got needs, Brian.

DAVE What?!

BRIAN Well you know what we do with those I catch, don't we Emma? Fetch the pinking shears.

I think there's a good idea in here, but it's a bit confused. I think Brian and Dave are too similar. Make Brian & Emma really posh so that it's less confusing (possibly funnier).

Jon is confusing the issue too. Get rid of him and just have Dave whispering to himself. That'd clear up a lot.

Dan

Fair points cheers - I've had another read and too confusing for radio anyhow - I'll be reworking. Ta swerytd