Feast your eyes on this parcel of dung:
ANCHOR:
We interrupt this programme to bring you a newsflash. it's over to our reporter David Ball who is in Iran.
DAVID:
Yes, I'm hearing some groundbreaking news that Iran has a new leader. President Ahmadinejad is no longer in power in Iran.
ANCHOR:
David, any info on who may succeed him?
DAVID:
Yes, I've an interview with Iran's new leader shortly, actually here he comes now.
FX ROAR OF RACING CAR ENGINE.
DAVID:
I can confirm that Max Mosely is Iran's new leader. (PAUSE) President Mosely, you were a surprise selection for Iran's presidency. What do you think swung it in your favour?
MAX:
It's out with the old and in with the new, dictator that is. I offered the Ayatollah Formula One racing on the streets of Tehran and he jumped at it.
DAVID:
The Ayatollah is a big motor sport fan then Max?
MAX:
No, he was thinking more of crowd control.
FX GERMAN NATIONAL ANTHEM MOBILE PHONE RING TONE.
MAX:
Sorry, I'll take this… Speaking.. you again.. might have nuclear weapons, what's it to you?.. look, I'm busy, go swat a fly.. oh, and Nascar's crap.. bye.
DAVID:
Max, do you think that being a non Muslim leader may pose a problem for you?
MAX:
Non Muslim leader, no, no. I mean, look how successful Hitler became.
DAVID:
Germany was a non Muslim country though.
MAX:
Look, tyrannical despots come in all shapes and sizes, colours and creeds. I'm going to put this country on the map, reap the rewards, make a movie called 'The Iranian Job' and then bugger off. Anyway, must dash.
FX MAX SINGING 'THIS IS THE SELF FLAGELLATION SOCIETY' TO THE TUNE OF THE ITALIAN JOB 'SELF PRESERVATION SOCIETY'.
ENDS.
