JEREMY BOWEN IN IRAN IS TALKING TO KIRSTY WALK IN THE STUDIO
JEREMY
Scenes of violence still rock Tehran as the Revolutinary guard take to the streets. They're now waving signs saying "death to all English spies".
KIRSTY
Jeremy have you got any comments on the BBC releasing expenses details for its senior journalists.
JEREMY
Nik Ferrari was caught doing Talk Sport's first over seas broadcast. In an execution redolent with irony they shoved his testicles in his mouth before beheading him.
KIRSTY
But about the expenses do you think it's right senior editors and journalists get a clothing allowance?
JEREMY
This history in the making, it's like the Moon Landings, the fall of the Berlin Wall and you're blathering on about expenses. And I don't get a clothing allowance.
KIRSTY
So what's this receipt for a small circular head covering?
JEREMY
That's a Jewish skull cap I was visiting Israel!
KIRSTY
Couldn't you have worn a saucer?
JEREMY
I can't meet the Primeminister of Israel with a saucer on my head! How would I even get it to stick?
KIRSTY
Glue? I spend £200 a month at Smart Cuts, you could lay out for a tube of Bostik.
JEREMY
Can we get back to Iran.
KIRSTY
Of course Jeremy I do apologise. Now do you think it was wise for someone to call President Almajilabad a big gayer with a gay beard?
JEREMY
Dear God who would say anything that foolish?
KIRSTY
You did Jeremy in this editorial on the BBC News website. President Almajilabad is a big gayer who fancies Barrack Obama has a gay beard and wears ladies bras.
JEREMY
Shut up for the love of God, I never wrote that.
KIRSTY
Yes you did, it's got your email adress on it. Jeremy Bowen@the Tehran holiday inn room 23 hiding under the bed.
JEREMY HIDES UNDER THE BED AS THE DOOR TO HIS ROOM IS HAMMERED AT.
KIRSTY
Oh dear we seem to have lost Jeremy. Coming up next does Elizabeth Jaeger make Burqas?