My Encounter with a Kangaroo....

This is some more preliminary material for my stand-up, still wetting my feet and testing the waters. Trying to find my "voice"...

Hopefully you enjoy it. So far, it's not much. But any advice on potential gags and where I could go from here to better this material would be greatly appreciated. I am new at this, and you guys are the benchmark.. so I hope to impress!!

Last year a man was arrested for punching a kangaroo.. it was broadcast on the internet, I'm not going to lie to you, (**Acting disturbed, and upset***) the video was horrific and truly distrubing... (**perk up**) naturally, I thought I'd give it a go!

A few months a go I went to Australia, and I did it.. I punched a kangaroo...

Well, not so much punched as I grazed a kangaroo with my a closed hand.

Essentially, I fisted a kangaroo... probably not something to be too proud of..

This was a true story... http://www.bebo.com/PhotoAlbumBig.jsp?MemberId=2017666222&PhotoAlbumId=10779086174&PhotoId=10779283558

Unless you're from the RSPCA... then this was completely ficticious!

So... any advice, rewrites, potential would be much appreciated!!

You should defo do a Rolph Harris Impression with it.

(I actually do quite a good one)

''After I fisted Skippy... (standing behind the kangaroo, and doing a doggystyle motion)

(Rolph impression) ....''Poor little mite''...

Maybe build up an element of danger before you punch said aussie national animal.

Roo's are great fighters - maybe it could beat you up and it could get arrested?

That gag doesn't work in my view.

It feels a bit forced.

Maybe more working on a routine on how you got in a fight in Australia and the reveal is it was with a kangaroo?

Thanks for your input guys... each of you have given me a good idea on how to better this... Really appreciate it!!

I have never written stand up Norm (I know, it shows) but I wrote something for your perusal. It is, of course, completely unbelievable but if you can give me a fool's pardon for the following:

So I punched a kangaroo and it punched me back.. in the balls. I said to the ref 'that's a low blow' and he said 'no it's not, a low blow is what you get with midget porno stars.'

It was a mismatch though, I'm a middleweight and the roo is a lightweight.. after the fight it had four pints of Fosters and it was on its back.. leaving muggins here to pick up the bar tab. It's true what they say, kangaroos are that tight, they could peel an orange in their pouch with a pair of boxing gloves on.. or maybe it's their offspring doing the peeling.

Anyway, I'm now at the bar with a drunk kangaroo beside me nursing a set of sore balls, me that is, not the kangaroo. I haven't seen any movement in it's pouch so I decide to stick my hand in and guess what I pull out?... A midget porno star. Two low blows in one night.. shit! Good looking guy as well.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ June 25 2009, 12:25 AM BST

I have never written stand up Norm (I know, it shows) but I wrote something for your perusal. It is, of course, completely unbelievable but if you can give me a fool's pardon for the following:

So I punched a kangaroo and it punched me back.. in the balls. I said to the ref 'that's a low blow' and he said 'no it's not, a low blow is what you get with midget porno stars.'

It was a mismatch though, I'm a middleweight and the roo is a lightweight.. after the fight it had four pints of Fosters and it was on its back.. leaving muggins here to pick up the bar tab. It's true what they say, kangaroos are that tight, they could peel an orange in their pouch with a pair of boxing gloves on.. or maybe it's their offspring doing the peeling.

Anyway, I'm now at the bar with a drunk kangaroo beside me nursing a set of sore balls, me that is, not the kangaroo. I haven't seen any movement in it's pouch so I decide to stick my hand in and guess what I pull out?... A midget porno star. Two low blows in one night.. shit! Good looking guy as well.

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Haha.. I liked it mate, I do like my comedy sureal.. The midget porno star bit was great!!