The Waiters

Bloke 1 (B 1) arrives at bus stop.
Been waiting long?

The 'Waiter' ('W')
Nah, five minutes. Just missed the last one.

B 1
How long till the next one?

'W'
Shouldn't be long.

Bloke 2 (B 2)arrives at bus stop
Been waiting long?

B 1 + 'W' in unison
Nah, five minutes. Just missed the last one.

B 2
How long till the next one?

B 1 + 'W' in unison
Shouldn't be long.

Girl (G) arrives at bust stop
Been waiting long?

B1, B2, 'W' in unison
Nah, five minutes. Just missed the last one.

G
How long till the next one?

B1, B2, 'W' in unison
Shouldn't be long.

Plump Lady (PL) arives at bus stop
Been waiting long?

B1, B2, 'W', G in unison
Nah, five minutes. Just missed the last one.

PL
How long till the next one?

B1, B2, 'W', G in unison
Shouldn't be long.

THREE HOURS LATER AND 80 PEOPLE NOW PROVIDING THE SAME UNIFIED RESPONSES

Bus driver (BD) joins the end of the bus queue.
80 heads turn in unison and glare at him
He stops a taxi, get's in and drives off.

Taxi driver to BD.
Been waiting long?
END

I like this. Needs a bit of polishing up but I think there's definitely a good, solid, funny idea in there.

Dan

Good sketch in search of a slightly better ending IMHO
Worth working at, I reckon.

I'm with Lazzard, it has a beautiful build but the ending doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Also, you make a Freudian slip at one point - have fun finding where!

Quote: David Bussell @ June 24 2009, 3:40 PM BST

I'm with Lazzard, it has a beautiful build but the ending doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Also, you make a Freudian slip at one point - have fun finding where!

View original

Got it.

Nice title, very misleading.

I actually really like it as it is, Stephen. I don't think it needs much tweaking at all.

No harm in trying a few different endings.

Could have a crack at it being the Sunday service or Christmas day. How about a protest of the ticket prices?

Har Hark Hark.......

Thanks to you all for the comments and encouragment. It's the first thing I've ever done. I am a novice to your world and if you don't mind I'm going to use your nous to hone my witing mouse - as it were.

It's very good for a first attempt. Not like my first attempt which was neither a) funny nor b) good.

There's a lot within this forum that should prove useful if you want to look at structure of sketches. Both good and bad!

Dan