Chase sketch

Hi all - completely non-representative of my usual stuff - it's an idea that I find funny but I really want to improve the sketch as I'm recording it in 2 weeks.

It's for radio too.

Any ideas?

Cheers

F/X Car chase - the vehicles come to a stop

Cop #1 They've stopped. (Walkie/Talkie crackle) In pursuit. Target has come to a standstill. Articulated lorry. White. Registration Charlie Victor...

COP #2 Mike! The doors are opening.

(Beat)

COP #1 Shit

COP #2 Holy God.

(beat)

COP #1 Morris Dancers.

(Beat)

COP #1 (..cont) They're loose.

F/X Cacophony of jingling bells.

COP #1 (...cont) They're going for the trees.

COP #2 Clever, clever.

COP #1 There's millions of them. (On Walkie Talkie) Zulu One, Zulu One, come in Zulu One.

F/X Helicopter

COP #1 (Shouting) Zulu One, take them down.

COP #2 Incoming!

F/X Wooden stick strikes head.

COP #1 Argh.

COP #2 (walkie talkie) Man down, man down. (off w/t) Mike, it was...

COP #1 A stick?

COP #2 With bells. God, Mike...

COP #1 Forget about me man. I'm done for, don't let them get away. Follow the hankies.

F/X Footsteps run off

Cop #2 I'll never forget you, Martin.

COP #1 It's Mike.

F/X Distant shotgun sounds.

COP #1 (whispered) Dancing bastards

This is ace. Surreal. Good dialogue. Great mental images. "Follow the hankies" is a fab line.

Cheers Slag - would you look to change owt - not sure on ending personally?

Ending on a sweary isn't usually the best way to bail out. Although it can work. I'll have to have a think.

Although one mistake is the one cop calls the other Mike then in his next line switches to using Martin. I'd call him Martin all the time and have Mike correct him when he's dying.

Haha, yeah this is ace and perfectly suits radio. I don't mind the sweary ending as it's not too crude but the 'I'll never forget you Martin' line seems out of place to me. the sketch is good enough without it.

"I'll never forget you Martin' line seems out of place to me"

You know what, you're absolutely right. I've heard that joke a million times and it's always been cack. Ta.

Good, nice and different.

Yea, Rick, this is really good. I'm assuming you don't like the ending cause it's not a punchline? but I don't think it matters. I like it the way it is.

You going to post up the recording?

Cheers
Craig

Really like that rick!

I'm also not sure about the ending. Feels like it needs something more - but what?

Quote: Craig H @ June 23 2009, 8:47 AM BST

Yea, Rick, this is really good. I'm assuming you don't like the ending cause it's not a punchline? but I don't think it matters. I like it the way it is.

You going to post up the recording?

Cheers
Craig

View original

That's probably it, yep - nothing really ties in and it's not really a joke. I'm thinking about it.

My sketch group is recording a batch and we're going to upload via itunes, so I'll post on here when I've done so. Cheers Craig.

Quote: bigfella @ June 23 2009, 9:21 AM BST

Really like that rick!

I'm also not sure about the ending. Feels like it needs something more - but what?

View original

I know - it's pissing me right off. The ending is crap, but I can't think of owt else at moment.

Cheers Bigfella

Maybe end it at the follow the hankies line - it is a classic!

Interesting - I think you're right, with perhaps a sneaky whispered something as the other chap heads off. Cheers Bigfella

Agree with the Slags comments. If you want a separate joke as an ending, why not try;

COP#1: I bet none of them are Jewish.

COP#2: Why do you say that?

COP#1: You have to be a complete prick to do Morris Dancing.