COLONEL SMITH IS BEING INTERVIEWD BY GENERAL JONES
SMITH
You wanted to see me sir?
JONES
Yes Smith, it's about these foreign Johnnies sneaking into the country in our military coaches.
SMITH
Dashed clever aren't they? We can cover the airports, the channel tunnel but who'd have suspected the chemical crapper on a bus?
JONES
Quite! But we have reason to believe they may have penetrated to the very heart of our military, possibly even to the highest level.
SMITH
That's terrible sir! Who could this beastly person be, this vile blackguard.
JONES
To be blunt Smith I believe it's you.
SMITH
Me sir? Why me?
JONES
Look colonel you were charged with coordinating the annual royal tatoo. Did you honestly think no one would notice the following order. Machine gun the royal box and bayonet the survivors.
SMITH
Erm erm it was a typing error.
JONES
Oh really and why did you order the Red Arrows to drop napalm on the crowds?
SMITH
Oh it's a fair cop Sir, you British military types are too sharp for us foolish terrorists.
JONES
Too right you rotter. Or my names not General Osama Bin Laden.