Dirty Telegraph

Cut and paste error corrected.

ENID AND BERT ARE READING THE TELEGRAPH IN THEIR FRONT ROOM

ENID
Ooh Bert I do love the Telegraph it gave them rob dogs in Westminster what for.

BERT
That's right Enid it's all good honest news in the Telegrpah none of that tabloid filth.

ENID
Yes look what's on the front page today. 3 in a bed Philipino orgy.

BERT
That's disgusting!

ENID
Oh Bert it gets worse. Transylvanian transexual transvestite gangbang, oh dear the Daily Telegraph has gone down market this really is the end.

BERT
Give it here.

SOUND OF RUSTLING.

BERT
You silly moo the Daily Telegraph isn't full of sordid sex acts!

ENID
It isn't?

BERT
No they just got hold of Silvio Berlusconni's expenses.

ENID
Then what's this bit about step ladder, 2 brown papers and a sick bag.

BERT
They also got Sarkozy's expenses

FOLLOW UP SKETCH

2 DRS LOOKING AT XRAYS AND TALKING TO EACH OTHER

DR1
I see Margaret Thatcher broke her arm again.

DR2
Well that's painful and avoidable.

DR1
How's it avoidable?

DR2
I keep telling her care home stop letting her watch films on Hitler or atleast get her a room with a higher ceiling.

Idea behind the first sketch is okay, but you need to find a way to bring it closer to home. Mark Oatens' expenses perhaps? or just MPs expenses in general.

Something seems to have gone wrong with the second sketch.

I misread the first character's name and thought you were writing about these two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqWaU5Hv0IE

Nice. Some clever ideas, and snappy too. With a bit of rewording the first sketch could even start from the third line.

In a weird coincidence I didn't get the last lines of both sketches.

Surely Berolsconis expenses would contain a hair transplant, Bandana and 200 pairs of Speedos.

Aah I'm making the mistake of going for a minor story that can be a bit confusing.

Berlusconni is accused of paying for more whores than a dyslexic coastal engineer.

Thanks for feedback but I think it lacks clarity so back to the drawing board!