Pilot or Something.

I don't know how original this is. I know it's kinda generic as it seems like something that's been done before but oh well. Mainly just practicing dialogue. Feel free to tear it apart though

PILOT

INT. TERMINAL - DAY

BARRY walks up to the flight reception desk where the receptionist awaits.

BARRY: I'm here to fly the plane.

RECEPTIONIST: You what?

BARRY: You know, the plane. Winged angels of the sky.

He makes a plane motion with his arms.

RECEPTIONIST: The best I can offer is an application form.

BARRY: No, no, no. I'm ready to go now. I'm the pilot leaving on a jet plane.

RECEPTIONIST: Can I see some credentials then?

BARRY: Yeah, I've got a hat. It says captain on it.

RECEPTIONIST: Well, that doesn't really cut it in regards to years of flight school

BARRY: Flight school, yeah. I don't need all that. University of life me.

RECEPTIONIST: Well, in this University of life do they train you with millions of pounds worth of equipment.

BARRY: I'm a fast learner. Once I'm up there I'm sure I'll pick it up. All I need is there air in my hair and my troubles behind me.

Beat.

RECEPTIONIST: They prevented you from taking water on board. What makes you think they'll let you fly the thing?

BARRY: It's just like riding a bike.

RECEPTIONIST: Yeah, but did your dad ever put you behind the wheel of a Boeing 747 at the age of 6.

Beat.

BARRY: No.

RECEPTIONIST: Then how, how is it like riding a bike?

Beat.

RECEPTIONIST (CONT'D): Your simile has no grounding just like this whole exercise.

Beat.

RECEPTIONIST (CONT'D): Can you leave now as your beginning to annoy me?

Beat.

Suddenly he begins to break down as the receptionist looks awkwardly around.

BARRY: I' I'm sorry. It's just ever since my wife died I just don't know what to do.

The receptionist looks around for a moment before looking back to Barry.

RECEPTIONIST: Wait a minute, I'll see what I can do.

The receptionist heads off and there's some mumbling heard from backstage for a moment before he comes back.

RECEPTIONIST (CONT'D): Well, it looks like your in luck mister, we've got one flying out shortly and you'll be flying out alongside the pilot.

Barrys face drops as he stomps up and down.

BARRY: That's just not fair!

He then quickly proceeds to march off.

-I was going to have him to finally fly and crash the plane...

It could be said that in 'Pilot or Something', Joe Mama deconstructs the postcultural paradigm of narrative and affirms the pre-patriarchialist paradigm of expression. Also, he cleverly promotes the use of the post-cultural paradigm of narrative to challenge the alternative to alternative comedy.Therefore, the premise of 'Pilot or Something' merely suggests that academe is fundamentally unattainable; whilst at the same time suggesting the use of the post-cultural paradigm of narrative to conclude that the raison d'etre of 'Pilot or Something' is deconstruction; and that narrativity is equal to language found in an abundance of theories concerning the use of neo-cultural conceptual theory often referred to in 'Billy Goats Gruff'.

well done...
anyone else?

Quote: Joe Mama @ June 19 2009, 1:12 AM BST

well done...
anyone else?

View original

I think they're all at Morrace's leaving party.
(The second he left we threw a party!)

Re the sketch, the fact that you're not sure how it end sort of shows.

I think the concept of bluffing your way onto the plane is funny (don't know if it's been done before - but I've got a shit memory) - and I believes the dialougue - although the bringing water on bit seemed to come from nowhere.

I just think you need to know you've got a bloody good punchline coming up otherewise it tends to drift.

Be careful how often you use 'beat' - in screenplays it's usually used as a parenthical tag to the dialogue -but it's a bit overused.

If you want to indicate a pause, put a little action in eg 'She drums her fingers for a couple of seconds' - you can use beat but don't over do it.

So - get yourself an ending and work backwards.

My only suggestion, if he's trying at BA desk he might have more luck at RyanAir cos they're not so fussy...?

I don't know.

Thanks for that and it's pretty much given me the punchline...Thoughout it can be a BA desk with the punchline him saying 'oh well, I guess it's back to Ryanair' as he slumps off.
So yeah, cheers for that

Perhaps he should say " Sod this. I'll try RyanAir - they were fine about it last time"

By the way....

...you should stick this in the sketch competition, the theme is Holidays' and I think airport gags qualify.

just a thought.

Cheers, I might try that after I polish it up