**1st sketch removed to avoid confusion. Plus, the beginning was the same and the ending not as good**
2)
INT – KITCHEN – MORNING
DEREK and JANE are both sitting at the breakfast table in their pyjamas, tensed, pens in hand, a newspaper in front of each of them.
DEREK:
One, two (BEAT) THREE!
They both frantically scribble something on the paper. There's a pause while they both search the paper thoughtfully, then Jane excitedly scribbles again.
JANE:
Finished!
She holds up her paper triumphantly, showing she's been circling the differences on a "SPOT THE DIFFERENCE" picture.
DEREK:
(DISAPPOINTED) What the hell's that one?
JANE:
Look, on the one on the right she's got a bigger bust. I thought YOU of all people would notice that.
DEREK:
Oh har, har.
DEREK SNATCHES UP HIS PLATE AND GOES TO THE SINK
CUT TO:
INT – BEDROOM – EVENING
Jane is standing in the bedroom in her dressing gown, while Derek sits on the bed.
DEREK:
One, two (BEAT) THREE:
Jane's dressing gown comes off.
DEREK.
Your back. You've got a tattoo
JANE:
Yup
DEREK:
You've pierced your belly button
JANE:
Good work fella. Only two more…
DEREK:
Your hair. You've dyed your hair. And trimmed down below
JANE:
Bonus point for you, Sherlock. And last one…
DEREK:
Oh, I know this…it's your fanny? It is, isn't it? You've had your fanny done
JANE SLAPS DEREK
DEREK:
Oh, no. I've missed the breasts again haven't I?
