Firing Squad

EXT. FIELD.

A MAN IS ABOUT TO BE EXECUTED BY FIRING SQUAD.

CAPTAIN:
Your death is imminent, you will be granted a last request, what is it to be?

VICTIM:
Look I'm a heinous war criminal and I deserve my fate no questions asked but you couldn't give us a hug.

CAPTAIN:
A hug? It is an unusual request indeed but I shall embrace you. Untie him.

VICTIM IS UNTIED BY GUNMEN AND APPROACHES THE CAPTAIN. THEY EMBRACE.

CAPTAIN:
There, there, it'll all be over in a jiffy. Naughty war criminal, very naughty war criminal.

VICTIM STARTS TO TICKLE THE CAPTAIN.

CAPTAIN:
He, he, that tickles, ho,ho, now that's enough, you're not going to worm your way out of this sunshine, he, he, stop this tomfoolery.

VICTIM STOPS TICKLING CAPTAIN.

CAPTAIN:
Ok, one Mississippi, two mississipi. Right lets roll.

VICTIM STARTS TICKLING CAPTAIN AGAIN.

CAPTAIN:
Ho, ho, he, he… stop, ho, ho, ha, ha.. someone shoot this chancer. Ready, aim..

VICTIM: (hurriedly)
Flapjack!

CAPTAIN:
Ha, ha, flapjack!, ho, ho, ha, ha… ready, aim, flapjack. Oh Jesus H Christ, ha, ha, ho, ho.

VICTIM IS NOW ON TOP OF CAPTAIN WHO IS ROLLING ON THE GROUND IN HYSTERICS.

THE CAPTAIN DIES FROM LAUGHING AND TICKLING.

VICTIM:
Oops, he appears to be dead. Oh well, I'll be off then.

VOICE:
No, you have to be killed.

VICTIM:
But you can't, he didn't say fire… shi

FX GUNSHOTS. VICTIM FALLS TO THE GROUND.

Another good sketch to add to the growing stable of excellent work, Sir.

I'm afraid it all drifts a bit for my taste.
Sort of feel I've heard the 'victim accidentally saying fire' thing before - and then the tickling thing seems to be coming from somewhere else.
I guess you could file under 'silly' - no shame in that!

I like it mock firing squad sketches are ancient but ace.

Hi Nigel

I was enjoying up to
THE CAPTAIN DIES FROM LAUGHING AND TICKLING.

Then It left me behind I'm afraid.
But I did enjoy the build up & it made me laugh.