Pub Sketch

Make of this what you wil...

WE OPEN ON A PUB INTERIOR.
A SEEDY LOOKING GUY WALKS IN, CARRYING A BUNCH OF ROSES.
HE SCANS THE BAR, OBVIOUSLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE.

EVENTUALLY HE SPOTS A FAT BALDING GUY AT A TABLE.
HE ALSO HAS A BUNCH OF ROSES.

THE FIRST GUY ROLLS HIS EYES AND GOES OVER.

SEEDY GUY: Don't tell me, Shygirl-13, looking for first time love?

FAT GUY: Reluctant CyberVirgin 14, keen to pop his cherry?

SEEDY GUY: Bollocks! I'm getting to old for this paedophilia lark. Fancy a pint?

FAT GUY: And some Salt & Vinegar if they've got any.

. Maybe a stronger punchline/ending and some sort of comeuppance for these two?

I know what you mean.
I just like the idea that they can't be arsed anymore.
Perhaps a copper should come in...and something funny should happen.
I shall have to think.

Agree with DD - preferably involving waterboarding and the Met.

Second attempt:

WE OPEN ON A PUB INTERIOR.
A SEEDY LOOKING GUY WALKS IN, CARRYING A BUNCH OF ROSES.
HE SCANS THE ROOM, OBVIOUSLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE.

EVENTUALLUY HE SPOTS A FAT BALDING GUY LEANING AGAINST THR BAR, NURSING A PINT.
HE ALSO HAS A BUNCH OF ROSES.

THE FIRST GUY ROLLS HIS EYES AND GOES OVER.

SEEDY GUY: Don't tell me, Shygirl-13, looking for first time love?

FAT GUY: Reluctant CyberVirgin 14, keen to pop his cherry?

SEEDY GUY: Bollocks! I'm getting to old for this paedophilia lark. Fancy a pint?

THE DOORS BURST OPEN AND TWO COPPERS CHARGE IN.

COPPER: You're nicked

SEEDY GUY: What for?

COPPER: Underage drinking - you nonce.

, yeah that works.

Reminds me of the time I was going to see an 18 film when I was 15 and then tried to get a child ticket. Showed the woman my ID to prove I was 15 and everything, to get the cheaper ticket but of course then she wouldn't let me into the film.

Yep, the rewrite is good, Sir.

@ DD