I wrote this over a year ago. Haven't written many sketches recently.
PETER KAY IS IN A MEETING WITH HIS AGENT.
AGENT
So we're agreed we need a Peter Kay DVD on the shelves for Christmas, what's it going to be?
PETER
Erm…what about just sticking my appearances on Corrie on a DVD?
AGENT
You've already done it!
PETER
When?
AGENT
A few years ago when you released that short film as the main feature, you charged a fiver per DVD.
PETER
Can't you just release it again with extra features, like my appearances on Parkinson or something?
AGENT
We can't do that Peter
PETER
What about just re-releasing my book
AGENT
It's only just come out in paperback!
PETER
Damn!
AGENT
What about doing a new live tour?
PETER
Not interested! I could do another version of my fitness DVD?
AGENT
Where could you go with it though?
PETER
Bolton, take it on the streets.
AGENT
I don't think so, do you?
PETER
Maybe not!
AGENT
Erm…what else?
PETER
I've just had an idea, what about if we just put all the old stand up material on a DVD and let fans pick their best bits?
AGENT
But it'll be the third time some of that material had been released on DVD.
PETER
They won't remember!
AGENT
Ok, let's do it.
PETER
Great!
AGENT
So, where are we with a live tour?
PETER
Just send Jason Manford out.
THE END