MRS JONES IS SPEAKING TO A HEADMASTER.
MRS JONES
So you wanted to talk to me about our Anthony?
HEADMASTER
Yes Mrs Jones we believe he has a lot to offer school.
MRS JONES
Oh how lovely I always said he was good at football.
HEADMASTER
No he's not he's always getting sunburned. No we believe he has alot to offer our school and Africa.
MRS JONES
Oh he's very caring, is he going to help build a school?
HEADMASTER
He isn't helpful he's always whining about his sunburn and being forced to play football. Mrs Jones do you know your son at all?
MRS JONES
I should bloody well think so he is my son. So you think he's selfish and uncaring? What on earth do you think he has to offer Africa?
HEADMASTER
Tanzania to be precise. We're going to fly him over and sell him to a Whitchdoctor who'll chop his feet off and turn them into a magical potion.
MRS JONES
But that's horrible, I mean why would they our Anthony's feet, no bloody whitch doctor is getting thier hands on his feet!
HEADMASTER
Mrs Jone's traditional Tanzanian whitch doctor's believe the feet of albinos have magical curative powers, are you unaware your son is an albino? I feel I may need to call social services!
MRS JONES
Of course I know our Anthony is an albino. I raised him, him and his melanin defincey, mopping the tears from his great big white face like a teary mozarella ball it was.
HEADMASTER
And what about the school? Do you know how much we've had to spend on calomime lotion for his sunburn? He's so busy scratching at his burned skin to pass any GCSEs he's dragging the school's average right down and as for his football..,
MRS JONES
Will you shut up about the football! He hasn't got any legs!
HEADMASTER
Then how are we going to sell his feet to a Tanzanian Whitch doctor? You bloody ambitious parents lying on your application forms, he's expelled and you can get out of my office!