Simon Cowell and Max Clifford are having a meeting.
Simon: Max it's a disaster! How I am I meant to make any money out of a f**king dance troupe?
Max: What went wrong?
Simon: It's the bloody press' fault, they didn't want Susan to win. I even had Sineta voting for me all night – still we didn't crack it.
Max: Look Simon, you can still give her a record deal.
Simon: What? She's in the f**king funny farm Max! I'll be the bastard that put undue pressure on her, it all be my fault by the morning!
Max: Relax Simon, we can put a bit of a spin on it!
Simon: Yeah! Good idea, lets blame Amanda.Let's say she called her a big fat hairy haggis eating turd!
Max:I don't think so. Look, how much do you want to turn this problem around?
Simon: More than anything. I'm enough of a bastard already but making an ugly bird go gaga is a step too far.
Max: I got a great plan, a plan that would solve everything and give you both massive publicity.
Simon: Sounds like my kinda plan Maxy boy, just as long as I don't have to contract a rare and incurable disease or something.
Max: Of course, she could be worth a fortune Simon!
Simon: True! Come on then tell me!
Simon and Max fall into a huddle
Scene Two
Simon has a phone in his hand.
Simon: Piers? Hello mate..... what are you doing next week? Nothing? How would you like to be my best man?
Ends
