The Missing Link

EXT. DESERT.

Two archeologists (Colin & Steve) carefully dust away the loose sand to reveal the fossilized remains of a primate-like skeleton. They try to contain their excitement.

COLIN
Oh, this could be it Steve, we may have found it.

STEVE
Let's not get too excited.

COLIN
But look, it has so many human traits; opposable thumb, bipedal legs, large skull, an air of superiority...

STEVE
Ok, ok, but let's keep dusting.

They enthusiastically dust quicker.

Colin starts to uncover something unseen.

COLIN
Oh, wait, I have something. Possible a tool?

STEVE
Excellent, keep uncovering it.

Colin sweeps and eventually reveals paper.

COLIN
Oh my Darwin, look, is that paper? Paper on a prehistoric ancestor?

STEVE
Slowly Colin, slowly. Now let's take a closer look.

Steve examines the paper.

STEVE
Damn.

COLIN
What?

STEVE
This is definitely not human.

COLIN
How can you tell?

STEVE
It's reading The Daily Express.

COLIN
Damn!

End

Quote: Leevil @ May 27 2009, 1:32 PM BST

COLIN
But look, it has so many human traits; opposable thumb, bipedal legs, large skull, an air of superiority...

View original

This line made me laugh.

I was enjoying the sketch, but the punchline didn't really do it for me.

I like it, News Revue silly.

Cheers guys. Will tidy it up and see what NR think of it.

As Fred says I think it needs a better punch line.

Maybe some thing like they find a house of common's pass on him?

Quote: bigfella @ May 27 2009, 6:36 PM BST

As Fred says I think it needs a better punch line.

Maybe some thing like they find a house of common's pass on him?

View original

I like it, but agree it needs a stronger ending. Maybe they find a BNP ribbon pinned to it. Or you could try something funny.

Cheers for the feedback guys.

I did toy with the idea of BNP, I suppose it would be relevant at the moment. But I didn't want to be too specific with a target.

I think it needs editing anyway, which would give me a chance to come at the punchline with a new angle.

Quote: bigfella @ May 27 2009, 6:36 PM BST

As Fred says I think it needs a better punch line.

Maybe some thing like they find a house of common's pass on him?

View original

"It's an MP's expense claim form!"

As the sketch stands it is ideal for Treason or News Revue but as you've noted yourself that extra 'Leevil' moment is missing. But you'll find that in the edit. The artifact they find with the skeleton can be anything, rather than a paper, which will open up plenty of possible targets for that killer end.

Send it off to NR though.

Cheers Mr. A.

Here's the edit I sent to NR last night. Thanks to billwill for the punchline.

EXT. DESERT

Two archaeologists (Dr. Collins & Steve) carefully dust away the loose sand to reveal the fossilized remains of a primate-like skeleton. They try to contain their excitement.

DR. COLLINS
This could be it, the missing link!

STEVE
Steady on; let's not get too excited.

DR. COLLINS
But look, it has so many human traits, opposable thumb, bipedal legs, large skull and an air of superiority...

STEVE
Ok, but we need to uncover more so we can examine it.

They enthusiastically dust quicker.

Dr. Collins starts to uncover the rest of the fossil.

DR. COLLINS
Hang on; I think he's holding something?

STEVE
A primitive tool maybe or even a weapon?

Dr. Collins sweeps further and eventually reveals paper.

DR. COLLINS
Oh my Darwin. Is that paper?

STEVE
It couldn't possible be, could it?

Steve examines closer.

STEVE
Yes, it appears it is!

DR. COLLINS
Does the paper have anything on it?

Steve examines again.

STEVE
Oh no, no. This skeleton is definitely not human.

COLIN
How can you tell?

STEVE
It's holding an MP's expense claim form!

COLIN
Damn!

END

Very good Lee!

The "MP expenses form being held = someone not human" doesn't really gel in my opinion. The setup is pure NR though, so it's worth a go.

Cheers Winterlight.

Too late now perhaps but:

"Oh no! It's not human after all!! It's a POLITICIAN, it's holding an MP expense claim form."