I don't think they really need to be deaf and dumb and making them pretend to be deaf is just a bit confusing. Good sketch but like I say that final twist is the one slight weakness.
A diferent twist would be they're robbed by a blind man, the most obvious would be they the wrong tape on.
Quote: sootyj @ May 28 2009, 9:17 AM BSTI don't think they really need to be deaf and dumb and making them pretend to be deaf is just a bit confusing. Good sketch but like I say that final twist is the one slight weakness.
A diferent twist would be they're robbed by a blind man, the most obvious would be they the wrong tape on.
Wrong tape is definitely too obvious, yea.
I've got plenty of ideas of how to finish it, just not sure what to go with. I'll mull it over and see what comes out.
I'd love the cops to turn up with their own ghettoblaster
'Evening all'
'Book him, Danno'
etc etc
Ah,that's where you've been Craig- building up to one great sketch... 
Thought it was great, and has endless material to it.
You actually could just turn on the Ghettoblaster and press play and let run
'Fun Lovin' Criminals- Scoobie Snacks'? 
hahaha I liked this one a lot.
Quote: Lazzard @ May 28 2009, 5:15 PM BSTI'd love the cops to turn up with their own ghettoblaster
'Evening all'
'Book him, Danno'
etc etc
Like Scotti says, there is endless material with this.
Quote: Scottidog @ May 28 2009, 6:11 PM BSTAh,that's where you've been Craig- building up to one great sketch...
Thought it was great, and has endless material to it.
You actually could just turn on the Ghettoblaster and press play and let run
'Fun Lovin' Criminals- Scoobie Snacks'?
Hey Scotti. Fun Loving Criminals indeed. Glad you like it. Should hopefully have more from Jim & Joan up soon.
Quote: Curt @ May 28 2009, 6:42 PM BSThahaha I liked this one a lot.
Thanks for the feedback, Curt, glad you like it!
Quote: Craig H @ May 28 2009, 8:34 AM BSTIt wouldn't really be one of my sketches without someone being confused, would it?
Spot on Craig - in the immortal words of Alan Shearer, have you ever thought it might be you? 
I get the impression that you like wrong-footing the reader/audience, but IMO I think you can do it to the detriment of your material. I think you have an excellent idea here for a series of surreal sketches in which a non-speaking middle-aged couple attempt to rob banks with the assistance of dialogue from films or song lyrics. But you've written it so that it ends up with a reveal that they are deaf and dumb, and then a second reveal that they really aren't. What you're doing to the audience there, I think, is leading us up a garden path by making us laugh at a funny idea and then telling us we didn't actually get it at the end. Twice. I think that risks leaving an audience disappointed.
I'd be tempted to stick with the simpler central idea that you have, because it's a great one and as you and others have said there is great potential. I'd also be tempted to include some of the stuff that you called "too obvious", because I think those ideas are funny and I think an audience would too.
Quote: Badge @ May 29 2009, 12:01 AM BSThave you ever thought it might be you?
I know it's me, Badge.
I'm a little disappointed you don't like the deaf and dumb van thing before finding out they are in fact neither. I actually think it makes it funny.
I like the sketch but hasn't the lyrics instead of dialogue idea been used before? The two ronnies maybe?
Quote: steven @ May 29 2009, 12:26 PM BSTI like the sketch but hasn't the lyrics instead of dialogue idea been used before? The two ronnies maybe?
Thanks Steven.
I think this is the case with alot of sketches. Although I'd like to think my elderly couple using a ghettoblaster in a stick-up is quite original.
I thought it was hilarious.
Yeah, it was done by The Two Ronnies, but this was executed in a new and original way.
It's great Craig.
Enjoyed this one Craig - I'd like to see it made and hear the music too. I hadn't realised Fun Loving Criminals had pinched that line from Pulp Fiction (I'm so, not down with the kids).
But I do love FLCs first album and going off on a slight tangent I find it v odd when Huey keeps turning up on ITV2 shows about eg Britains Got Talent - giving his opinion. I thought he was a bad ass new yoiker - what's he doing on a sofa with Lional Blair!?
Back to this though - nice one.
x
I liked this a lot, Craig. Maybe you could have the last tune get chewed up partway through the song but, deaf as they are, they carry on rocking out anyway? That would answer the question of whether or not they're deaf and create an extra twist on the punch.
Quote: David Bussell @ June 2 2009, 10:46 AM BSTI liked this a lot, Craig. Maybe you could have the last tune get chewed up partway through the song but, deaf as they are, they carry on rocking out anyway? That would answer the question of whether or not they're deaf and create an extra twist on the punch.
Thanks Jane & David.
David, that is cracking idea and a brilliant twist.