A KOSHER BUTCHERS A VAMPIRE WALKS IN, SINISTER MUSIC ROLLS A VAMPIRE WALKS IN.
VAMPIRE(WITH A BRUMMY ACCENT)
Is this a kosher butchers?
BUTCHER
Are you taking the Micheal? Wandering in here in a cape with fake teeth and everything.
VAMPIRE
Ok I admit I'm a vampire now are you a kosher butchers?
BUTCHER
Shouldn't you being saying "I vont to bite your neck" or something, you're not a vampire you've got a Wolverhampton accent, now sod off!
VAMPIRE
Look this is abit embarassing I'm a Muslim vampire from Birmingham. There I was a happy taxi driver then pick this guy up from Transylvanian flights 230. Next thing I know I'm a strictly Muslim vampire with out a bloody tip.
BUTCHER
Oh I see and as a vampire Muslim...
VAMPIRE
I can't drink blood it's harem, its been a week I'm bloody starving.
BUTCHER
So what do you want me to do?
VAMPIRE
Well do you have any kosher blood?
BUTCHER
What like blood without blood in it?
VAMPIRE
Now you put it like that it sounds pretty daft.
BUTCHER
I've got some chickensoup?
VAMPIRE
Not really the same is it?
BUTCHER
I could put some beetroot in it? You know atleast make it the right colour, maybe drop some pennies in it make it taste metallic.
VAMPIRE
Go on then give it a go.
BUTCHER
Otherwise I could always give you the adress of my tax offcer.
VAMPIRE
Why?
BUTCHER
He's kosher but he manages to suck me dry twice a year.