Jobcentre. A pale guy sits across from someone trying to find him a job.
JOB: So, to finish with, are there any illnesses or special requirements any future employer should be made aware of?
GUY: Not so much an illness, but I do have a special requirement.
JOB: Which is?
GUY: Occasionally I crave the taste of human blood.
JOB: Ah....
GUY: Sorry, is that a problem?
JOB: No, no - it's just those with 'special requirements' are harder to place.
GUY: I'd appreciate you not speaking as if I'm some illegal immigrant.
JOB: Well, I'll tell you now - your preffered job sector, 'medicine', will be a difficult one to place you in.
GUY: That's just - ugh .A few vampires make a few silly mistakes and we all get tarred with the same brush.
JOB: Your, um, ethnicity doesn't have a good record within the medical industry. I remember putting a vampire to work in a childrens hospital last year and the mortality rate suddenly jumped to 750% higher than the previous fifty years.
GUY: Great, so one bad egg spoils the whole batch?
JOB: That 'bad egg' made news headlines all around the world - and got me a verbal warning.
GUY: Oh, for the record, we prefer the term 'transylvian-americans' to the V word. And what can you offer if medicine's no good?
JOB: Nights, like you've specified, are always tough too. Unfortunately law dictates we can no longer employ people in your situation as truck drivers due to missing hitchhikers and/or prostitutes .. meat factory workers..
GUY: Not even a nice overnight stint at a Hospice? Old Folks Home? You must have something I can really get my teeth stuck into.
JOB person glares.
GUY: Little Transylvanian-American humour .
JOB: I have a position on a construction site....but I think you're a bit too young for that.
GUY: I'm 520 years years old! I just look young.
JOB: Ah, then you're too old.
GUY: That's age-discrimination. Anyway, I prefer to be indoors.
JOB: Oh - here's one - Abbatoir worker. Just on the outskirts of town.
GUY: Fantastic. Can I apply for that one?
JOB: No problem, I'll just write a cover email to the employer.. Experienced.. Willingess to work.. Smartly dress.. Vampire..
GUY: Do you really need to put that last part in?
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Yet again, another scene without an end. Anyone think of one?
