Joke Help

I heard a joke in the pub last week- I thought Ricky Hatton was quite lucky, the last person to get knocked out in a ring like that ended up in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool' I laughed not to sound ignorant, but I really don't get it. Does anybody on the forum get it?
Likewise on Mock the Week scene's we'd like to see. On the topic 'Things you wouldn't hear at a dinner party' Russell Howard said 'Doorbell. Heather Mills and James Blunt- Hope he's bought his guitar' I didn't get that either. Help please.

I assume the first one is to do with getting knocked unconscious during anal sex?

And the second one refers to the fact nobody would want James Blunt to sing...although not sure what Heather Mills has to do with it.

Quote: chipolata @ May 19 2009, 3:40 PM BST

I assume the first one is to do with getting knocked unconscious during anal sex?

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Ohh right, well it's not exactly obvious is it. Or that funny to be honest.

Quote: Jack Massey @ May 19 2009, 3:41 PM BST

Ohh right, well it's not exactly obvious is it. Or that funny to be honest.

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It is if you film it and speed up the video...apparently.

Quote: Jack Massey @ May 19 2009, 3:41 PM BST

Ohh right, well it's not exactly obvious is it. Or that funny to be honest.

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*...Leaves the room in shame.*

Quote: Gavin @ May 19 2009, 3:43 PM BST

*...Leaves the room in shame.*

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It's not the first time that's happened, is it?

Ah, Benny Hill bum sex - lovely.

Quote: chipolata @ May 19 2009, 3:43 PM BST

It's not the first time that's happened, is it?

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Won't be the last.

Quote: chipolata @ May 19 2009, 3:40 PM BST

And the second one refers to the fact nobody would want James Blunt to sing...although not sure what Heather Mills has to do with it.

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That no one would want her at a dinner party either, I suppose.

Nobody wants to hear JB sing, but it's still preferable to HM's company.

You're right, Honey Monster's an arse.

Quote: JohnnyD @ May 19 2009, 4:48 PM BST

Nobody wants to hear JB sing, but it's still preferable to HM's company.

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Now I've read the original post properly - "Things you wouldn't hear at a dinner party" - I, also, don't get Heather Mills' involvement in the joke.

I guess the well-primed audience will always give a Pavlovian laugh to the 'James Blunt', 'Heather Mills' keywords.

Quote: Jack Massey @ May 19 2009, 3:39 PM BST

I heard a joke in the pub last week- I thought Ricky Hatton was quite lucky, the last person to get knocked out in a ring like that ended up in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool' I laughed not to sound ignorant, but I really don't get it. Does anybody on the forum get it?
Likewise on Mock the Week scene's we'd like to see. On the topic 'Things you wouldn't hear at a dinner party' Russell Howard said 'Doorbell. Heather Mills and James Blunt- Hope he's bought his guitar' I didn't get that either. Help please.

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The guy in Barrymoore's pool suffered terrible injuries to his anal ring, whilst Hatton suffered terrible injuries in a boxing ring.

Being at a dinner party with Heather Mills and James Blunt and he's going to sing. Is a simple rule of 3 based on the threat expanding and then twisting with the 3rd part being a modification to Blunt as oposed to a new threat.

A better joke on Hatton I heard was.
The day after the fight Rodney King phoned him to offer comiserations.

Quote: sootyj @ May 19 2009, 6:03 PM BST

Being at a dinner party with Heather Mills and James Blunt and he's going to sing. Is a simple rule of 3 based on the threat expanding and then twisting with the 3rd part being a modification to Blunt as oposed to a new threat.

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Eh?

I think it's to do with the comment after the doorbell has rung....the unexpected happy response to the two most unwelcome guests you could ever have at your dinner party:

Doorbell rings. "Ooh Heather Mills and James Blunt's here everyone, I do so hope he's brought his guitar".

I dunno

Dreary joke anyway.