INT. DAY.
Britain's Got Talent waiting area, before show starts.
Shot of large waiting area with lots of eager people sitting on chairs and standing with some performing for the cameras.
Producer stands on a chair.
PRODUCER: Right, ssssshhhhh, can we all be quiet please!
Nobody listens, the noise carries on.
PRODUCER: (Shouting) SILENCE PEASENTS!
The crowds murmuring dies down. Silence.
PRODUCER: Right, you'll be happy to know that you'll all be going on this evening.
The crowd cheer with excitement.
PRODUCER: Wait, wait, hold on... that doesn't mean all of you will be going through though...obviously.
(points his clip board down at a young obese boy dressed as the Kirate Kid)
PRODUCER: Now, bit of a touchy subject. But who has had a family member die recently? And who would say that all their hopes and dreams are resting on tonight, and that they are doing it all for their family member who is looking down on them tonight...from heaven.
A few hands go up, sparsely.
(producer talking down to his assistant under his breath)
PRODUCER: Ughh, none of the good ones.
(nods to the back of crowd at a middle aged woman with a cleft palate dressed as 'Belle' from Beauty and the Beast)
PRODUCER: Nobody then! Great.
A old man shouts from the back.
OLD MAN: My wife did last year, I lost her!
Producer struggles to hear him. Cupping his ear.
PRODUCER: You've lost your wife? Just go to reception sir, and they can help you.
A woman middle aged woman shouts out.
WOMAN: My whole family died.
PRODUCER: Look I know Judy, we already talked to you about that before.
WOMAN: Yes, but they died.
PRODUCER: Ok, judy, but a family mass suicide from Moss side, is not exactly a fairytale is it? Im looking for a great singer who has had a bereavement?
ASSISSTANT: No use gaffer.
Producer climbs down off chair.
PRODUCER: Shit, what we gonna do for tonight's show?
In walks Susan Boyle.
ASSISSTANT: Here gaffer, this one can sing (pointing to Susan Boyle)
PRODUCER: Yes, but SHE is ugly as sin you little welp, and hasn't had anybody die!
ASSISTANT: No gaff, but she's from Scotland?
PRODUCER: Bloody Lifesaver! Get here on first!
