MP offers help

MP is hold a surgery session in his constituency with an attractive large breasted woman.

MP : So what seems to be the problem Madam?

Woman : Money. I've got terrible money problems. I was hoping as my MP you could help.

MP: Money is want I'm good at. But you be more specific ?

Woman: It's my electricity, it's been cut off – I'm a single mother of three.

MP: I don't know? Why do the bastards do things like this?

Woman: Well, it's my tits I think. They attract blokes.

MP: No Madam! I was talking about the electricity company.

Woman: Oh I see!

MP : Look it's all easy to sort out. What's the phone number of your fee's office?

Woman: Sorry? What's a fee office?

MP: The fee's office! The place where you send all your bills and they send you the money to pay them with.

Woman: What are you talking about? I pay my bills myself, with my money.

MP: Really? How quaint.

Woman: I'm worried about my kids I can't afford to feed them.

MP: Don't be silly – look if there is a problem just get Tesco to bill the fee's office direct.

Woman: Stop all this talk about fee's offices. I pay for my food myself.

MP: I just don't understand this.

Woman: And little Billy needs a bed – he can't go on sleeping in his cot for ever!

MP: Ah...this I can help with..John Lewis!That's the place for beds. You'll get that receipt paid without question.

Woman: Look! Get it in your head, in the real world outside of Westminister we have to pay for everything ourselves.

MP: I'm so sorry, I didn't realise. Look, I'll do what I can.....can I pop round and help you clean your moat?

Possible extra line at end

Woman takes off blouse.

Woman: Clean your moat? Never heard it called that before. But why not? – but only if you promise to get me up the duff. I could use the extra child benefit.

Nice one, Bigfella.

Leave the lecture - "Get it in your head, in the real world outside of Westminister.." (you may think that - but she wouldn't say it)

Just > >

Woman: We have to pay for everything ourselves. We're not MPs!

Oh - and leave the 'Possible extra line at end' - 'moat' is fine!

I liked the possible line at the end, problem is I wasn't that keen on the rest of it. All seems a bit obvious. Good idea, maybe needs a bit of a re-work with more emphasis on the possible ending.

Thanks for the comments.

Cheers Morrace I'll re do that line. Glad you liked it.

I especially liked her line 'it's my tits I think, they attract blokes.' I also liked the extra line at the end but I wasn't as keen on the fee's office stuff.

I think the problem with this is that all the MP's are well aware that they were ripping off the system. It's probably the ripest subject for satire at the moment, but I think you need to come from a different angle.

The thing about the tits doesn't add much to the sketch either. It just seems to be there for the sake of the "Why do the bastards do things like this?" line. Best to stick to the point, no matter how funny a gag you have. Save it for something else.

Quote: Ben @ May 17 2009, 1:50 AM BST

Best to stick to the point, no matter how funny a gag you have. Save it for something else.

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Hear, hear!