INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
MISS PERKINS RESIDES OVER A PRIMARY SCHOOL SHOW AND TELL.
MISS PERKINS:
Thank you very much for that, Simon.
THE BORED CLASS CLAP WEAKLY AND SIMON TAKES A SEAT WITH HIS BANJO.
MISS PERKINS (CONT):
Up next we have Katy with… her favourite pet.
KATY OPENS THE DOOR AND IN WALKS HITLER WITH A LEASH AROUND HIS NECK.
MISS PERKINS:
Oh my Christ!
KATY:
Don't worry, Miss, he doesn't bite.
MISS PERKINS:
Is that…?
KATY:
He's my bestest friend in the whole wide world!
SHE GIVES HITLER A BIG HUG. THE OTHER KIDS GATHER AROUND, EXCITED.
SIMON:
Can I give him a treat?
KATY:
He'd like that.
SIMON GOES TO GIVE HIM A BIT OF SANDWICH.
MISS PERKINS:
No, Simon, leave him alone!
ANOTHER GIRL, ZOE, STEPS FORWARD.
ZOE:
Can I stroke him, Miss?
MISS PERKINS:
No.
ZOE:
Why not?
MISS PERKINS:
Because… you don't know where he's been.
KATY:
He's very clean - I gave him a bath this morning!
MISS PERKINS:
Oh, good Lord.
HITLER SEES THE STAR OF DAVID NECKLACE HANGING AROUND ZOE'S NECK AND GROWLS AT HER. MISS PERKINS RAPS HIM ON THE NOSE WITH A ROLLED UP LESSON PLAN.
MISS PERKINS (CONT):
Alright, that's enough! Katy, go and put your Hitler in the corner. Everyone else sit down and be quiet while we listen to Stephen's show and tell.
KATY TETHERS HITLER TO A DOOR HANDLE AND THE KIDS BEGRUDGINLY DO AS THEY'RE TOLD. STEPHEN STEPS TO THE FRONT OF THE CLASS DRAGGING WHAT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT JACK-IN-THE-BOX.
MISS PERKINS (CONT):
What have you got for us there, Stephen?
STEPHEN:
This is my favourite toy.
HE WINDS IT UP AND A WINSTON CHURCHILL POPS OUT. PANDEMONIUM AS THE HITLER BREAKS FREE AND TEARS ACROSS THE CLASSROOM AT HIM.
END SKETCH
Yes. Hitler is still funny. Thanks Dave, that was great.
