INT. PANTOMIME HORSE.
PANTOMIME TAKING PLACE BUT OUT OF VIEW.
LILY IS AT FRONT OF HORSE AND MICHAEL AT BACK. FILMED USING NIGHT VISION AND HIDDEN CAMERAS.
VOICE: (O.O.V.)
Oh, yes it is.
LILY:
Keep those meandering hands of yours on my waist not above or below.
MICHAEL:
I'm not used to the back. Are you still on your high-fibre diet? My nose is perched rather close to your exclusion zone.
LILY:
You lived with me long enough Michael to know that it'll be smell not sound that you hear first... forward... slower you big oaf!
AUDIENCE: (O.O.V.)
Oh, no it isn't.
MICHAEL:
Ten years I did the front, this makes a mockery of equal rights.
LILY:
Why didn't you sleep with the new director? You're something of a dab hand at that... clip clop sideways.
AUDIENCE: (O.O.V.)
It's behind you!
MICHAEL:
Because he's gay?
LILY: (knowingly)
He was gay.. ahem.. reverse.
MICHAEL: (shouting)
YOU'RE FUCKING PETER?
FX THUMP
MICHAEL:
Aargh!
VOICE: (O.O.V.)
Naughty horsey, naughty horsey.
FX AUDIENCE LAUGHING.