British Comedy Guide

First Date

As always all comments gratefully recieved.

A MOTHER AND FATHER ARE SITTING ON THE SOFA TALKING TO THEIR 20 SOMETHING DAUGHTER.

MUM:
Where are you off to tonight then darling?

DAUGHTER:
Justin's taking me out mum I'm not sure where, I'm so excited I think he could be the one. He'll be here soon, promise you'll behave dad

DAD:
Of course I will love, i've got rid of you once I'll do it again.

MUM:
Ahh it's great to have you back home love, such a shame it didn't work out for you down London but things are looking up for you again. Now go upstairs and get yourself ready.
ANGIE GOES UPSTAIRS TO GET READY. DOORBELL RINGS. DAD ANSWERS DOOR. JUSTIN IS A GOOD LOOKING 20 SOMETHING, DRESSED SMART CARRYING A BUNCH OF FLOWERS.

JUSTIN:
Hi i'm here to pick up Angie.....I'm Justin

DAD:
Hello son, she's not ready, just like her bloody mother, never ready. Come on in, come in.

SLAPS JUSTIN ON BACK

DAD:
Mother this is Justin.

JUSTIN:
Hello Mrs Adams, it's very nice to meet you.

MUM:
So Justin what do you do ?

JUSTIN:
I work in a call centre at the moment but I'm going to the college in the evenings doing a film and media studies course.

DAD:
Our Angie was in a film wasn't she Mum.

MUM:
She was Dad yes, very shy about it though, never even told us about it. You found it whilst watching a DVD that Chinese man sold you didn't you Dad. Put it on, see what Justin thinks.

Cut to:

ANGIE RE-ENTERS LIVING ROOM HER PARENTS AND JUSTIN HAVE THEIR BACKS TO HER SAT ON THE SOFA, A PORNO FLICK PLAYS ON THE TELEVISION.

Some of the dialogue (exposition) is too long. Either shorten it or break it up.

Also :

JUSTIN:
I work in a call centre at the moment but I'm going to the college in the evenings doing a film and media studies course.

DAD:
Our Angie was in a film wasn't she Mum?

A Media Studies course includes film but you probably know that - therefore, I believe you planted the word 'film' within the phrase, 'doing a film and media studies course' so that Dad can answer "Our Angie was in a film wasn't she Mum" without him having to ask what 'media studies' are. Better to have him ask.

Contrived.

As for the 'punchline' (you don't have to have one but I assume it is an attempt at one) - well, as soon as Dad says, "Our Angie was in a film wasn't she Mum.", every man and his dog know what's coming - and it does. This was ok in the old "No Sex Please, We're British" days - but it's old hat now.

Quote: Morrace @ May 9 2009, 4:58 PM BST

Some of the dialogue (exposition) is too long. Either shorten it or break it up.

Also :

JUSTIN:
I work in a call centre at the moment but I'm going to the college in the evenings doing a film and media studies course.

DAD:
Our Angie was in a film wasn't she Mum?

A Media Studies course includes film but you probably know that - therefore, I believe you planted the word 'film' within the phrase, 'doing a film and media studies course' so that Dad can answer "Our Angie was in a film wasn't she Mum" without him having to ask what 'media studies' are. Better to have him ask.

Contrived.

As for the 'punchline' (you don't have to have one but I assume it is an attempt at one) - well, as soon as Dad says, "Our Angie was in a film wasn't she Mum.", every man and his dog know what's coming - and it does. This was ok in the old "No Sex Please, We're British" days - but it's old hat now.

Some good points there, I think you make a good observation with your point on the word film. As for the 'punchline' yes it's an obvious visual but I think it's funny. Maybe too much dialogue prior to it. Thanks for taking the time Morrace.

Pete

I quite like it. Agree that it could be cut down quite a bit but overall I thought it was pretty good.

There are courses called 'film and media studies' by the way, although I don't know why.

Quote: Chris Forshaw @ May 9 2009, 5:31 PM BST

There are courses called 'film and media studies' by the way, although I don't know why.

Probably explanatory. There are probably 'TV & Film Media Studies' as well.

Icidentally; 'Media Studies has fallen victim to the term, 'Mickey Mouse degree' since there are 43 times as many Media Studies students in higher education as there are jobs available in the media annually.' (from Wikipedia)

> > > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mickey_Mouse_degrees

I would have liked the dad to have said something like

'Sit down Ang, we're just coming to my favourite bit' at the end. Or something similar.

Quote: roscoff @ May 9 2009, 9:42 PM BST

I would have liked the dad to have said something like

'Sit down Ang, we're just coming to my favourite bit' at the end. Or something similar.

That's a nice ending, I cut some dialogue but it wasn't as nice as that. I'll put that in and cut a bit from the start. Thanks Roscoff.

Pete

Quote: pedros @ May 9 2009, 5:24 PM BST

As for the 'punchline' yes it's an obvious visual but I think it's funny. Maybe too much dialogue prior to it. Thanks for taking the time Morrace.
Pete

How about not showing any 'porn' at all? i.e. when Angie walks in the room, Mum and Dad are about to put in the DVD when Angie panics, rushes over and to Justin's bemusement grabs the DVD from them. Consequently, Angie makes frail (and funny!) excuses for not showing the DVD.

or they say she made a film, she rushes to take tape out - oh my God don't show them that, Justin says something like - Oh My God - you made a porno - I knew it - anyone who'd do that to me on a first date, you dress like a whore etc etc

and the mum says embarassed - erm it was just a school version of Joseph the Musical, and the dad shoots him in the head.

or something on those lines

:D

I like the Daughter's name ;)

This reminded me of when your parents show embarassing photos of you as a kid to your new beau.

Maybe the parents could be more like 'isn't she great at faking orgasms?' totally oblivious as to the embarassment it's causing?

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