Gutted

Would like some thoughts on this one if it isn't too much bother

I'm not sure about the punchline. Is it too abrupt? Do you think I should carry it on a bit longer or just add another little line on the end of it?

I don't know what it is but it just doesn't feel finished to me like this.

All thoughts appreciated

Cheers

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

The presenter is stood facing the camera next to a husband and wife.

PRESENTER
Hello and welcome back to Gutted, the program to help you get rid of the clutter in your home. I'm here with Mike and Sarah Jones, where Mike is about to take up the Gutted challenge. Are you ready Mike?

MIKE
I am.

PRESENTER
Ok. For anybody at home who isn't familiar with the rules, Mike will have 1 minute to name as many items in his home as possible. When the time is up, we auction off anything he didn't name. Alright, 3, 2, 1, Go!

MIKE
Err right, the car, the TV, the fridge, the bed, my leather jacket, the stereo, my errrrr.

Mike glances at his wife.

MIKE
Errrr.

PRESENTER
You don't say it, you don't keep it.

MIKE
My (Coughing)pornos.

PRESENTER
What was that Mike?

MIKE
My (Coughing but pronouncing the word more clearly)pornos.

PRESENTER
Still didn't quite catch that. Hurry up Mike, the clock is ticking.

MIKE
My pornos!

Funny little sketch which IMO ends at:

MIKE
My (Coughing) pornos.

I continued reading, expecting an even stronger punchline but it didn't arrive. Also, when I read 'Mike glances at his wife' I thought the man may have been contemplatinging whether or not to include her; which might be an idea to build on.

Or how about when Mike coughs 'pornos', the presenter mishears him, resulting in his pornos (or something similar) being auctioned.

e.g. Mike coughs 'porn mags' which the presenter lists as 'corn bags'. Not a great example, I know but get the idea?

I thought it was his wife that he 'forgot' too, so something around that (as Morrace says) might be a better ending.

The deliberation as to whether he wants to keep her or not is an interesting situation...

Dan

Something like;

PRESENTER:
Time up! So the jizz mags are staying but your wife Janice is up for auction. Next up let's see how much Janice makes as a Slovakian sex worker sale...

Cheers everyone

Morrace got the ending I was looking for with this one so thanks for that sir.

I have loads of ideas for alternatives now though so I'll write a few more version I think.

Cheers