I realise this isn't strictly a sitcom. However it is an attempt at comedy - of sorts - basically what I'm wondering is if this beginning would make you want to read more, or throw it back into the bargain bin of your local Esso service station and walk out in disgust
January 14th.
Her name is Samantha and we met for the first time today. Although met is possibly too strong a word considering all I actually did was stand two people behind her at the counter of "Mr Morrell's" the butchers, while she purchased 6 of his very excellent, apple and pork sausages.
I knew her name was Samantha because as Mr Morrell served her I heard him remark "Good morning, Samantha, and what can I do for you today?"
A lesser man than Mr Morrell may have delivered the question with a touch of sexual innuendo and perhaps a knowing wink. However, Mr Morrell was 75 and had been happily married for 35 years, while the customer he referred to as Samantha,was likely still in her teens. And although it was possible that this beautiful young girl may have been intrigued by the thought of flirting with an elderly, overweight butcher, who's fingers smelled of mincemeat and who's face wobbled when he spoke, I quickly decided that in this instance that wasn't the case.
I watched from my place in the queue as Samantha handed Mr Morrell the correct money and then packed away the sausages in the carrier bag she was holding. I noted that the carrier bag was from Marks and Spencer, and as we do not have a branch of Marks and Spencer in our area, I naturally assumed she had brought the carrier bag with her from home.
This is something I quite often do myself when shopping locally. Although I must admit I much prefer the Tesco carrier bag as they crunch up into a very small ball which if positioned correctly in my trouser pocket will often give the illusion that I have a very large penis.
