SOOTYJ SITS IN A "SAW" STYLE BASEMENT CHAINED TO AN ATOMIC BOMB WITH A LAPTOP.
A SIGN ON THE WALL READS
"Last chance therapy for terminally annoying writers."
SOOTYJ(READING ALOUD WHAT HE TYPES).
Gordon Brown wiping his bottom....
VOICE FROM A SPEAKER.
I'm warning you no more poorly written topical sketches about poo.
SOOTYJ
...is a very unattractive shade of brown for an Austin Maxi.
VOICE FROM A SPEAKER
Don't take the piss you poorly paid hack or I'll destroy the world.
SOOTYJ
Barrack Obama was full of seamen...
VOICE FROM A SPEAKER
That's it! You annoying illiterate bastard I'm destroying the world.
SOOTYJ
...because Obama was the main source of accomadation for the US Navy.
VOICE FROM A SPEAKER
Smart arse I'm watching you. Like Jonathon King and Gary Glitter with a nude copy of Bugsy Malone. You anal wart you've contaminated me.
SOOTYJ
Infectious ain't I. Now where was I, 3 kiddy fiddlers...
VOICE FROM A SPEAKER
And no pointly offensive stuff either. You're more annoying than being haunted by Jade Goody!
SOOTYJ
Are essential for the national youth string orchestra. Ha! Ha! You can't beat me I'm as irrespresible as the Taliban and the Salvation army!
VOICE FROM A SPEAKER
Oh and no more intermidable self referential sketches that really arent't funny. Especially when you "ironically" critique your own writing in them.
SOOTYJ
Knickers.
THE BOMB EXPLODES AND THE WORLD ENDS.