JANE AND TIFF ARE DRESSED IN SMOCKS AND CHURNING BUTTER
JANE
Remind me Tiff why are we hiding in the 14th century?
TIFF
To escape your exboyfriend the Jewish Dalek and our dad the former Reichfuhrer of Nazi Germany.
JANE
Take that you black bastard.
JANE HITS TIFF WITH A BUTTER CHURN.
TIFF
Ow what was that for Jane?
JANE
I'm now a racist supporter of Milwall football club as well as a ditzy girl about town. It's called having layers.
TIFF
But I'm not even Black.
JANE
I'm also colour blind.
TIFF
Well I've got a conjoined twin.
TIFF TEARS OPEN HER BLOUSE. GARY COLEMAN IS STRAPPED TO HER STOMACH.
GARY
What you talkin' about Jane? Now start the reactor!
JANE
That's not really a character trait more of a physical characteristic.
TIFF
So's being colour blind!
A DELIVERY MAN TURNS UP WITH A VERY BIG BOX.
MAN
Are you Tiff and Jane No-apparent-surname?
TIFF
Yes we are.
MAN
Could you sign for this plot device?
JANE SIGNS THE MAN LEAVES.
SCENE 45879
DALEK SKA AND JANE AND TIFF AND HITLER ARE IN THE 14TH CENTURY.
JANE
Dalek Ska you are not my mother!
HITLER
Nein what we need is a popular character with a catchphrase.
STEPHEN HAWKING ROLLS ON AND TYPES SOMETHING INTO HIS KEYBOARD.
STEPHEN
Anus.
SKA
That will do, oyvey, exterminate.
ROBERT MUGABE BURSTS OUT OF THE BOX LEFT IN THE PREVIOUS SCENE.
HITLER
You! Give me back my moustache!
MUGABE
You! Give me back my moustache!
ROBERT AND HITLER FIGHT.
TIFF
Surely Sootyj would usually have written himself into something this poor and self referential by now?
JANE PICKS UP A HAMMER
JANE
Right I'm off to break the 4th wall.
